Bickering, pointless rock penises – Pink Floyd – are complaining and moaning again. Despite being wealthy enough to buy several moons, they’ve been in a legal battle with EMI, only to sign-up with them again once they’d finished folding their collective arms and pouting so much that every surviving member now has pulled muscles in their many chins.
If you didn’t know, Pink Floyd have been in a legal battle with EMI and recently won a court ruling over a deal signed in the pre-download age regarding digital sales.
That’s really interesting isn’t it?
EMI, really doling out the excitement, said:
“All legal disputes between the band and the company have been settled as a result of this new deal”
Whooooop! Pink Floyd, who have sold more than 200 million albums, mainly thanks to people being curious about whether Dark Side Of The Moon is actually as good as Best Albums Ever Made polls claim (it isn’t), have been with EMI since the ’60s and have now signed a new deal which will last for a further 5 years.
In that time, they’ll release precisely zero albums and call each other horrible names on a weekly basis, until one of them dies prematurely, leaving them to make tributes about each other, saying “wish we’d never argued in the first place! How short and cruel life is!”
Of course, even though they’ve signed up with EMI again, they’re still sulking about it.
Acts like The Rolling Stones, Paul McCartney, Queen and Radiohead have all left the label since it was taken over by Terra Firma who, in fairness, seem like a bunch of shark headed bastards.
Nick Mason told the BBC that he was “very fond” of EMI didn’t like “the gang known as ‘business affairs’ [who] have taken over the running of the company”.
“I look back with considerable fondness to the days when it was the entrepreneurs and individuals who actually ran these companies and created something that was about the music”
And let bands get away with releasing overly long stoner boner-fests like ‘Ummagumma’ or allow bands to write half baked lyrics like “bus stop rat bag ha ha“.
Announcing the new deal, EMI chief executive Roger Faxon shouted over the fleet of revving vintage sports cars, all set off by the surly surviving members of The Floyd:
“Pink Floyd are one of the most important and influential bands of all time and I know I speak for everyone at EMI when I say that it is a privilege to have the opportunity to work with them.”
Whether Roger Faxon likes Syd-era Floyd the best is still unclear, but chances are, no-one gives two shits. So that’d be that then.