Ready for another dose of recaps from Saturday’s Strictly Come Dancing? You’d better be, otherwise we’re going to have quite the falling out.

Now we’re in the middle of the week, it’s naturally time to look forward to next Saturday’s Strictly Come Dancing, when the girls have another crack at proving their worth to everyone? All-girl nights on Strictly Come Dancing are always a bittersweet affair – women tend to be better dancers, but they’re absolutely hopeless at stomping about like a rapist like the boys do – but we’re sure they’ll suck it in and do their best.

But before any of that, we have to finish up our look at the Strictly Come Dancing boys, so here’s our recap for Tom Chambers and Don Warrington…

Tom Chambers - We’ll be the first to admit here that we don’t get Tom Chambers. We don’t know who is, for a start, or what he does. Or, come to think of it, why he struts around with such a cocky sense of self-entitlement all the time. Worst of all, though, we can’t see why everyone on Strictly Come Dancing loves him so much. On Saturday Tom Chambers did a Jive to Black And Gold that, to our eyes at least, didn’t make any sense at all. It seemed like it was completely out of time and stumbly, almost like a stag night version of a Jive. At points, Tom Chambers even seemed to regress to imitating those waggly-fingered inflatable men you see outside car showrooms. Despite this though, the Strictly Come Dancing judges almost had a collective orgasm over the routine. “You are carrying the flag for the boys,” they told him. And we really don’t understand why. There can only be one of two reasons for this. Either a) everyone was too transfixed by the way Tom’s partner was wearing a pikey Christmas tree as an outfit, or b) Tom’s got a set of career-destroying photos of each of the Strictly Come Dancing judges. Strictly Come Dancing score – 33

Don Warrington - Don Warrington was in the dance-off after his first attempt at a Strictly Come Dancing routine, and this seemed to strike the fear of God into him for Saturday. So much so that his partner even called him ‘a machine’ during training. A bit of a crappy, fat machine that isn’t particularly good at dancing and can only talk about Kenco Arabica beans with any authority, but that’s beside the point. Don Warrington’s second Strictly Come Dancing routine was a Tango to What Lola Wants that was almost completely featureless. Throughout the performance, Don and his partner hardly let go of each other, and we’d have forgotten about it entirely had it not been for Don’s face – he looked utterly repulsed by everything he was doing, and seemed to be dreaming up some sort of frenzied stabbing rampage. However, it was slightly better than his first go, and the Strictly Come Dancing judges reflected that in their comments. “That was a fantastic routine,” they said. Which proves what we bloody know, doesn’t it. Strictly Come Dancing score – 30

That’s all the Strictly Come Dancing recap action for this week, but we’ll have all kinds of Strictly Come Dancing nonsense for you on Monday.