Strictly Come Dancing Recap: Rachel Stevens

Strictly Come Dancing recaps? Yes. Here. What of it?

You know, we’ve been thinking. Why doesn’t a respected man like John Sergeant admit that enough’s enough and his continued progress through Strictly Come Dancing is hurting more talented dancers? And now we know – it’s only Strictly Come Dancing that’s stopping him being a full-time Dave employee. No wonder he looks so desperate.

Anyway, here’s the Strictly Come Dancing recap for Rachel Stevens

Rachel Stevens – Despite being near the top of the Strictly Come Dancing leaderboard, Rachel Stevens was put into the dance-off last week – something that made her cry just about every molecule of moisture out of her body about – and that guaranteed two things for Saturday’s Rumba to You Do Something To Me. Firstly, it meant that Rachel was going to pull out all the stops to avoid it happening again, and that meant that she’d dress in the tightest, skimpiest scrap of cloth she could find and wriggle around like a itchy-minged stripper in heat who feeds off male erections. Secondly it meant that the Strictly Come Dancing judges would go slightly overboard in their praise for her to make sure she didn’t get put into the dance-off again this week. Since they told her that “If you’re in the bottom two tonight, I will dance naked. I thought it was fabulous,” and then gave her the highest score of Strictly Come Dancing this year, we’ll assume that happened. Fingers crossed that the others don’t start following her formula – the last thing we want to see is John Sergeant in a spangly unitard doing pelvic thrusts in Bruce Forsyth‘s direction. Strictly Come Dancing score – 39

Tomorrow: Strictly Come Dancing recaps for John Sergeant and Tom Chambers.