Strictly Come Dancing recap time, which makes a change – usually at this time of the morning we’re… oh. Not a change at all, actually.

There are just three dancers left on Strictly Come Dancing, and it’s impossible to guess who’ll win at the moment. Unless you guess that Rachel Stevens is going to win, and then you’ve probably guessed correctly. But anyway, shh.

Here’s the Strictly Come Dancing recap for Lisa Snowdon…

Lisa Snowdon – On behalf of the universe, we’d just like to thank anyone who voted for Lisa Snowdon on last week’s Strictly Come Dancing, because it kept her out of the dance-off and therefore spared us another endless round of needy, self-pitying tears. Instead we got a round of needy gratitude tears which was either better, worse or exactly the same. We’ve long since lost the ability to work these things out. But anyway – Lisa Snowdon’s Strictly Come Dancing routines.

Lisa’s first dance was a Waltz to He Was Beautiful that was completely boring, featured excessive moments of overwrought face-touching and all kinds of arbitrary applause from the audience. However, the Strictly Come Dancing judges more or less masturbated themselves silly over it, and the stage was set for the second dance – a Jive to Crocodile Rock, of all things. And it was weird – all hunched over, full of self-consciously wacky facial expressions and so frantic that it left Lisa Snowdon looking like a hyperventilating Terrahawk afterwards. The Jive didn’t go down so well with the Strictly Come Dancing judges, and her partner got his knickers in a twist about it. But, hey, at least this means there’s one person on earth who cares about Lisa Snowdon. Total Strictly Come Dancing score – 72

Tomorrow: the Strictly Come Dancing recap for Tom Chambers.