We’re continuing our first-week recap of Saturday’s Strictly Come Dancing with the man emerging in some quarters as a potential favourite – John Sergeant.

But before we do that, we’ve got just enough time to look forward to the upcoming Strictly Come Dancing, which is an all-female special. We don’t know what’s more exciting – the thought of using up three hours of our weekend watching Strictly Come Dancing, or the glum realisation that Jessie Wallace will probably be wearing something inappropriately revealing during it. Sigh.

Anyway, here’s the Strictly Come Dancing recap for John Sergeant…

John Sergeant – Everyone knew who John Sergeant would be on Strictly Come Dancing – the fat clown of the show who can’t dance and gets thrown off within a fortnight. He’d basically be this year’s Kate Garraway except with slightly bigger boobs. The thing is, though, John Sergeant’s obviously an intelligent man, so what the hell was he doing on Strictly Come Dancing? As it happens, maybe he knew after all. John’s debut waltz on the show was to Come Away With Me, and it was staggeringly lovely. Not technically great – as if we’d know – John managed to look charming and warm and relaxed all the way through it – apart from right at the end where he started to bob up and down like an egg in a pan of boiling water. It was a graceful, dignified start to Strictly Come Dancing for John Sergeant, but it’ll all be pissed up a wall next week when he has to do a Quickstep to Come To Daddy by Aphex Twin. Strictly Come Dancing score – 22

Tomorrow: Our Strictly Come Dancing recap for Andrew Castle.