It look a long time, but now it looks like someone’s finally found a way for Strictly Come Dancing to get even more pointless.

And that’s to make such a bodge of the scoring system that nobody gets eliminated. Wonderful. Thanks to a ridiculous cock-up, nobody got voted off Strictly Come Dancing on Saturday night, which means we wasted an evening that could have spend doing something more worthwhile like, say, eating a pair of shoes or committing arson.

But, despite this monumental balls-up, the Strictly Come Dancing final still takes place on Saturday, so who’ll win? Here’s the Strictly Come Dancing recap for Lisa Snowdon…

Lisa Snowdon – The Strictly Come Dancing finalists all want to win for different reasons – Rachel Stevens wants to be famous again, for instance, and Tom Chambers just wants never to go back to Holby City again – but it’s much more personal for Lisa Snowdon. You see, Lisa Snowdon just wants to be liked by people who aren’t a) her direct relatives or b) stars of the movie Leatherheads. It’s this manic quest for approval that’s caused Lisa Snowdon to approach Strictly Come Dancing like a flinty-eyed Terminator, and it seems to be working out quite well for her.

On Saturday, Lisa’s first dance was an Argentine Tango. Since it was a dance that her partner had never even tried before, the chances of it going belly-up were huge – but fortunately the pair of them did lots of research beforehand. Sadly, though, it seems like their research just consisted of watching a couple of porno movies, because the dance was just uncomfortably filthy from beginning to end. So will that performance make sure that people end up liking Lisa Snowdon? We’re going to guess not, because Lisa’s second dance was a Quickstep that got a perfect score from the Strictly Come Dancing judges. Usually that’d be a happy occasion, but not for Lisa Snowdon – she reacted to each 10 card like they were pictures of her immediate family getting machinegunned by Sri Lanken child soldiers. Lisa – that’s not how we make friends, is it? Total Strictly Come Dancing score – 75

Tomorrow: Strictly Come Dancing recap for Tom Chambers.