These midweek lulls between Strictly Come Dancing worry us – but not because we like Strictly Come Dancing or anything.
No, instead the only contact we have with Strictly Come Dancing at this point is with Strictly Come Dancing It Takes Two, and that’s what worries us. This isn’t just the start of Strictly Come Dancing‘s annual season, you know – it’s the start of hecklerspray’s annual inexplicable and totally regrettable ‘thing for Claudia Winkleman’ season, too. Pray for us, readers.
Anyway, back to the recap of Saturday’s Strictly Come Dancing. Today we’re looking at Gary Rhodes…
Gary Rhodes – In a world stuffed with knobhead chefs, Gary Rhodes stands head and shoulders above everyone else. Swaggering, constantly unhappy and even more pointlessly obsessed with his own moobs than Gordon Ramsay, Gary Rhodes was either going to ace Strictly Come Dancing or destroy his reputation on it. And, guess what, it’s the latter. So preoccupied with perfection that he pretty much spent his entire five-week preseason training making sure he got the first step dead-on, Gary’s Ch Cha Cha to Hippy Hippy Shake ended up being indescribably bad. He was out of time with everything, his partner seemed to have an epileptic fit fairly early on and there was a bewildering part in the middle where she bent over and he sort of bongoed up and down on her back for no logical reason. Usually Strictly Come Dancing has one dancer who’s awful but stays in because they’re funny. Gary Rhodes isn’t even likeable enough for that to happen, we fear. Well, we don’t fear. He’s shit. Strictly Come Dancing score – 17
Tomorrow – the Strictly Come Dancing recap for lovely old John Sergeant.