How great it is that the male and female celebrities can now all dance during the same episode of Strictly Come Dancing.

It’s wonderful. Not only does it mean that we get to form a clear picture of what the all the dancers are like in comparison with one another, but it also means that we don’t have to put up with any more Strictly Come Dancing group dances. Because, honestly, we’ve seen more coordination in a washing machine full of hamsters.

Anyway, here are the Strictly Come Dancing recaps for Andrew Castle, Christine Bleakley and Jodie Kidd…

Andrew Castle - The thing about Andrew Castle is that his dance partner is so unstoppably booby that he’s bound to get through to the latter stages of Strictly Come Dancing. He’d have to do something really stupid for that not to happen. Something unbelievably stupid, like almost dropping his dance partner on the head or something. Which, funnily enough, is what Andrew Castle actually did on Saturday night’s Strictly Come Dancing – his American Smooth to You Know I’m No Good was just bewilderingly bad. That was mostly for the usual reasons – it was all raggedy and clumsy and Andrew Castle’s attempt at a smooth face is pretty much everyone else’s definition of a jail-rape face – but at the end, Andrew tried to pick his partner up, failed, and came thrillingly close to dropping her right on her nose. It could have been punishment for her relentless screeching at him during training, but either way the Strictly Come Dancing judges weren’t impressed in the slightest, saying that it was “More dazed and confused than American Smooth.” First headbanging and now a near drop? Next week’s bound to be awesome – we hear that Andrew Castle’s actually going to go on a stabbing rampage. Strictly Come Dancing score – 17

Christine Bleakley – Christine Bleakley probably works harder than any of the other Strictly Come Dancing contestants, because she trains all day and then has to go and present The One Show every evening. And, by God, we know that if we had to discuss cloud formations with Giles Brandreth every night we’d hardly have the get up and go to do anything but sob about the state of our life. But Christine’s heavy workload hasn’t had too much of an effect on her Strictly Come Dancing performances yet, despite moments of her Samba to Baila Baila Conmigo. Her partner was literally dancing at twice the speed she was, for example, and Christine was ginning so much that she looked like she had a handful of love-eggs stuffed up her chuff. But none of that affected her Strictly Come Dancing score, with the judges telling her that “Your smile lights up the floor, you make everybody want to get up and join in, and that’s a Samba!” But, hey, if you can smile sitting next to Adrien Chiles every day, you can smile at anything. Strictly Come Dancing score – 30

Jodie Kidd – During her previous go at Strictly Come Dancing, Jodie Kidd attempted to be sexy and failed to such an extent that most men would probably be able to bring themselves to completion thinking about the little girl from the ‘If you hit me at 40mph’ advert. But that all changed on Saturday when, despite being in possession of more square footage of limb than most people have in their entire street, Jodie Kidd managed to pull off a surprisingly elegant American Smooth to Witchcraft. It looked a lot more effortless and, for the first time maybe ever, we could understand why Jodie Kidd got paid to be a model. Of course, ballroom dancing should be exactly her thing, since she’s such a bloody rah rah posho-type, but the Strictly Come Dancing judges were effusive with their praise anyway, saying “That was absolutely your best dance.” The bloody posho. Strictly Come Dancing score – 30

Tomorrow: Strictly Come Dancing recaps for John Sergeant and Mark Chambers.