You know what tomorrow is, don't you? Apart from a brief respite from the relentless drudgery of your working life of course, that goes without saying. Anyway, we're talking about tomorrow being Strictly Come Dancing day.
And tomorrow we're also going to lose one of the Strictly Come Dancing dancers. We have an idea who's probably going to be getting chucked off the show tomorrow, although Spoony getting the boot last Saturday has thrown our powers of deduction so out of whack that we're spending over three hours a day staring blankly at ourselves in a mirror slowly mouthing "who are you?" until our jaw locks up. Anyway, you're here for Strictly Come Dancing betting odds to win, aren't you?
Here are the Strictly Come Dancing betting odds for Matt Dawson, Ray Fearon, Mark Ramprakash, Louisa Lytton and Emma Bunton…
Matt Dawson – Matt Dawson is swiftly becoming the World's Most Annoying Man. He played rugby for England and England won the World Cup. He cooked some food for Celebrity Masterchef and did very well at that. He's managing the – admittedly fairly easy – task of being funnier than John Parrott on A Question Of Sport. And now he's doing fairly well at Strictly Come Dancing too. The utter, utter bastard. On Saturday Matt did a tango to Stand By Me and the judges literally shat their pants with glee when it was over "These guys are doing a good job – much better than last week," one judge said, forgetting that Matt didn't actually dance last week. And we thought Bruce Forsyth was the forgetful one. SCORE: 30 – Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 10/1
Ray Fearon – It's hard to imagine why DJ Spoony was voted off Strictly Come Dancing, but we partly suspect that he danced badly as a protest for the big semi-racist 'dark horse' outburst by Bruce Forsyth on the Paul O'Grady show last week. If that was the case, we should expect something similar to happen to Ray Fearon. After his Strictly Come Dancing routine to Money Money Money opened Saturday's show, one of the Strictly Come Dancing judges decided to say this to Ray: "I liked your performance – It was like the prince of darkness and the ice beauty." Nice. Expect more black devil talk – and a spazzy protest dance – from Ray Fearon next week. SCORE: 29 – Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 7/1
Mark Ramprakash – Why on Earth are cricketers so good at dancing? Standing around in a field all day isn't really a sport, and the most exercise they ever do is running 20 steps and tossing a ball to a man. And yet – after Darren Gough aced Strictly Come Dancing last year – Mark Ramprakash looks set to do the same, if only it wasn't for the Spice Girl and the Infant. Mark's routine to Elenor Rigby, which we never really thought was a tune fit for a Tango, had the lady Strictly Come Dancing judge rubbing holes in her tights again. "Mark, You must have been born with style and you looked like a mesmerising matinee idol." SCORE: 32 – Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 3/1
Louisa Lytton – One of the plus sides of only being six years old, like Louisa Lytton, is that you get to grow up in public. We've only seen two full dances by Louisa Lytton and already she's maturing (but not like that, you pervert). Last week Louisa looked as if she'd collapse with fear the moment her song started playing, but this week Louisa was free of nerves, and it paid off. Her jive to Smiley People was probably the best of the night, and it had the Strictly Come Dancing judges saying things like "You are a glorious, sparkling, bouncy baby." All that plus she hasn't managed to punch the life out of her creepy dance partner either. SCORE: 36 – Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 2/1
Emma Bunton – Even though Louisa Lytton is a slightly better dancer, and is on television's highest-rated show four times a week, Emma Bunton is still pipping her to the betting odds post. Why? It's obvious – if Emma Bunton wins Strictly Come Dancing then she might take up dancing professionally and never reform the Spice Girls, that's why. Knowing full well that seeing five middle-aged women sweat and grunt through Wannabe features fairly low on their list of stuff they ever want to see, the Strictly Come Dancing judges were especially kind to her routine to Edge Of Heaven. SCORE: 33 – Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 13/8
Next week – X Factor then X Factor then X Factor then Strictly Come Dancing then Strictly Come Dancing then it's Saturday again. Yay!
[story by Stuart Heritage]