These dancers are dropping like flies, aren't they? Three episodes of Strictly Come Dancing in and we've already waved goodbye to Nicholas Owen, Mica Paris, knackered old Jimmy Tarbuck and now DJ Spoony too.
The loss of Spoony on Saturday's Strictly Come Dancing was the biggest shock to have ever happened to the show since the time that Bruce Forsyth actually managed to get all the way through a link without squinting at the autocue, messing up his lines or generally looking quite confused by all the lights and fast music. Spoony's Strictly Come Dancing routine was actually one of the better performances of the night – but his elimination just goes to show that the British public don't forget how annoying it is to be played 16 Artful Dodger tracks in a row on the radio on a Sunday morning. Now that Spoony's out of Strictly Come Dancing, though, who'll win?
Here are the Strictly Come Dancing betting odds for Georgina Bouzova, Jan Ravens, Claire King, Peter Schmeichel and Carol Smillie…
Georgina Bouzova – We're not sure why Georgina Bouzova is still part of Strictly Come Dancing. Either the people who vote for this sort of thing all love formulaic long-running medical dramas or they think that acting like a snotty turd at any opportunity takes real talent. After she flopped around the stage to Burning Love, a Strictly Come Dancing judge told Georgina she was "Lame, laboured and limp. You are very brave coming on this show." Still, Georgina has more dancing stamina than Jimmy Tarbuck, and there's only a handful of people who can say that. SCORE: 18 – Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 100/1
Jan Ravens – Last week on Strictly Come Dancing, Jan Ravens famously stacked it over right at the end of her routine. This week she somehow managed to do worse than last week, even though she stayed on her feet for the duration. She danced to Do You Wanna Dance, and the second it was over the Strictly Come Dancing judges all but tried to fire machine gun bullets into her eyes. With words. "That just looked a bit desperate," one said. OK, so not quite machine guns, but they sort of flicked cotton buds vaguely in her direction. With words. SCORE: 18 – Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 80/1
Claire King – Claire King hasn't got the headstart we assumed she'd have last week, and this is why: 1) No women want to vote for Claire King because she looks like she'll sleep with their husbands, 2) No women want to vote for Brendan Cole because he looks like he'll sleep with their wives and 3) No men will vote for Claire King because no men watch Strictly Come Dancing. Claire danced to Nutbush City Limits, and walked the raunchy/disappointing line very skillfully. "That was Nutbush Sizzle Limits! There's something very raunchy about the pair of you," said one judge. "I didn't like it at all. Very disappointing," said another. See? SCORE: 22 – Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 25/1
Peter Schmeichel – Peter Schmeichel disappointingly hasn't accidentally tore off his partner's scalp or disintegrated their spines underneath his gigantic feet yet. Quite the opposite, in fact – he's doing rather well at this dancing thing. After his Strictly Come Dancing routine to Tango Notturno, the judges were so impressed that they even forgot to flop out a relentless string of bad footballing puns. "Best Tango of the night," one said. Maybe next week Peter will destroy his partner… we can always dream. SCORE: 31 – Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 20/1
Carol Smillie – In reality, Carol Smillie isn't that smiley, is she? Her natural facial expression seems to be a mixture of dour disappointment and furious anger. Not that any of this has got much to do with Carol Smillie's Strictly Come Dancing routine to Official Worst Madonna Song Ever Hanky Panky, but we thought we'd point it out anyway. And as for the routine, a Strictly Come Dancing judge told her "The routine for me didn't really take off, it didn't fly for me," but despite all these brickbats Carol Smillie's 'not good but not bad' pattern remains unscathed. SCORE: 27 – Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 20/1
Tomorrow – The Strictly Come Dancing betting odds for all the other dancers who we can't be arsed to name right now.
[story by Stuart Heritage]