By rights, after all this time the only dancers left of Strictly Come Dancing should be the cream of the crop, the cat’s pyjamas, the bee’s knees, the mutt’s nuts, the monkey’s junk.

And, not accounting for a couple of mediocrities, that’s true. And then there’s Kenny Logan – the single most entertaining thing about Strictly Come Dancing. While Bruce Forsyth mangles his jokes, Tess Daly contorts her mouth into all kinds of crazy shapes and Alesha Dixon – ugh – dances well, Kenny Logan has taken the mantle of Strictly Come Dancing underdog. The man can’t dance – he refuses to dance – and just wants to stomp around independently of any music that happens to be playing, doing his best to force laserbeams to shoot out of his eyes. In short, Kenny Logan deserves to win Strictly Come Dancing. He won’t of course; he’s useless.

So who will win Strictly Come Dancing this year? Here are the Strictly Come Dancing betting odds for Kenny Logan, Matt Di Angelo and Alesha Dixon, with help from Paddy Power…

Kenny Logan – We’re coming to learn to be disappointed whenever Kenny Logan wears sleeves on his Strictly Come Dancing costume, because it means that he probably won’t try to smash up the stage by angrily stamping his feet like usual. And, as expected, that’s precisely what Kenny didn’t do on Saturday’s Strictly Come Dancing. During his American Smooth to How Sweet It Is, we even thought we saw Kenny smile for a moment, although hopefully we were wrong and it was a wonky growl instead. But then, just when we thought that the old Kenny we know and love had disappeared, Kenny stopped all the smooth, in-time twirling and lifted his partner over his head. Could he? Would he? Sadly, no, Kenny didn’t roar “HULK SMAAASH!” and bodyslam her into a wall – turns out it was just a Dancing On Ice-style fancy lift. It broke our heart to see it, but the Strictly Come Dancing judges liked it, the idiots. “It’s overwhelming, the step you’ve taken,” one said. Morons. SCORE – 30; Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 50/1

Matt Di Angelo – As previous instalments of Strictly Come Dancing have shown, Matt Di Angelo is not against acting like a preening bell-end if it means he’ll increase his chance of winning the show. But on Saturday Matt seemed to hit the ceiling of his twattiness-threshold, complaining that his Salsa to Vehicle made him look like a tit. And we can’t imagine what he was talking about – there’s nothing tittish about dressing up in a sparkly black skin-tight shirt slashed open to the belly button, spazzing around like toddler doing an impression of a worm-infested tyrannosaurus rex, thrashing his shoulder about like an amputee trying to swim away from a shark and then actually kicking a woman in the face. Oh, no, wait – all of those things are pretty tittish. But what do we know, because the Strictly Come Dancing judges loved it so much they even briefly pretended to not be ten thousand years old, spurting out nonsense like “You’re bringing sexy back,” and “You’re turning into the Spice Boy of the competition!” SCORE: 38 – Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 9/2

Alesha Dixon – It’s getting ever so slightly dull to say, but Alesha Dixon is quite good at dancing. Whatever dance she’s asked to do, Alesha Dixon comes out and does very well. And not even doing a Cha Cha Cha to Crazy In Love, something that – had Willie Thorne attempted it – would have been all over YouTube in videos called things like ‘Look at this baldy wanker’, could mess Alesha up. It was sexy, it was perfectly synchronised to the music, it was so energetic that we suspect not even the loneliest old man in the country could masturbate to it properly – and it got a ridiculously high score for it in the process. “This is a two horse competition at the moment, and you are one of the horses,” the Strictly Come Dancing judges told her, which seems a little unkind – a Shetland pony at best, yes, but not a horse. A Shetland pony with a lovely mane. Oh, lovely Shetland ponies. SCORE – 39; Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 2/5

Next week – X Factor betting odds again. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Strictly Come Dancing betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.