Strictly Come Dancing Betting Odds: It’s All Ramprakash

It's always hard to tell if the halfway point of a show like Strictly Come Dancing is a good or bad thing. Maybe it's both - it's bad because all the genuinely terrible dancers have gone so we can't laugh at them, and it's good because we won't have to watch Tess Daly bollocks up her opening microdance many more times.

But, just because we're halfway through Strictly Come Dancing it doesn't mean that we're any closer to finding out who's going to win the show. OK, that's a lie - if Peter Schmeichel wins Strictly Come Dancing we'll run naked through the streets crying tears of blood - but we think we've got the possible Strictly Come Dancing winner down to three contenders. Who are they? Duh - they're the same three that've been there since the beginning. And you all know who they are, right?

Here are the Strictly Come Dancing betting odds for Louisa Lytton, Emma Bunton and Mark Ramprakash…

Louisa Lytton - Even though she was only born this August, Louisa Lytton has really picked up this dancing lark. In fact we kind of wish she was a professional dancer instead of a professional actress, because seeing her twirl around energetically in a sequined bra is infinitely preferable to seeing her trudging around a market stall looking confused at everything Big Mo Slater says and making the bloke from The Bill die in prison. However, Louisa Lytton's Strictly Come Dancing betting odds are slipping slightly, probably because her pervert dance partner keeps cramming her routines with so many steps that viewers are left too dazed to remember to vote for her. The Strictly Come Dancing judges seem to agree with us, although in a way that intrinsically has more shit puns in it; "She can't keep up with it, she's flying around like a balloon that's been let go!" SCORE: 32 - Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds - 5/1

Emma Bunton - A decade of being an on/off successful popstar has taught Emma Bunton a very important lesson about winning votes in a dancing competition; men will always vote for the girl who rubs her tit and looks like she enjoys it. During her Strictly Come Dancing routine to Maria, Emma Bunton did this about 900 times and - as a result - looks slightly more likely to win the show because of it. If only Jimmy Tarbuck had such a canny brain for sexually provocative dancing, maybe he'd still be in the competition too. If the Strictly Come Dancing judges noticed all the tit-rubbing, they sure didn't mention it, instead commenting that "That was a sizzling, scorching, saucy cocktail! You did very, very well." So they obviously did notice all the tit-rubbing, then. SCORE: 36 - Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds - 5/2

Mark Ramprakash - Now that Ray Fearon isn't a part of Strictly Come Dancing any more, all the wanton female lust in the show is about to be directed full-beam onto Mark Ramprakash. He's had preparation, of course - Arlene has all but squirted him in the face with pheromones in the past - but here's hoping that it doesn't affect Mark's chances of winning Strictly Come Dancing. Not that he needs sexual attention for that, though - his weird little jiggy-jaggy American Smooth routine to Orange Coloured Sky was more than enough to help convince viewers that he's not as good at dancing as we probably think he is. Even though he's still favourite to win, the Strictly Come Dancing judges told him "Tonight you looked fabulous, but there wasn't the smooth - it was rough, it was jerky, it was peppered with zig zags everywhere. Doesn't matter - next week you'll be great." SCORE: 33 - Strictly Come Dancing betting odds - 8/11

Next week - X Factor betting odds and Strictly Come Dancing betting odds!