On Saturday's Strictly Come Dancing poor Georgina Bouzova got the shove, continuing the proud tradition of booting off the Strictly Come Dancing contestant who's improved the most over the space of a week.
Also, Georgina leaving Strictly Come Dancing marked a new stage in our Strictly Come Dancing fandom – from outright hating each series to quite enjoying it, we're at the stage now where we start to watch Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two during the week to assess the dancers' abilities even further than usual. The stages we've yet to go through include the slow realisation that we're boning up on a reality TV show about dancing and the stage where we stay in bed crying for a week wondering where our lives went so very wrong.
But with Georgina Bouzova out of the frame, who's going to win Strictly Come Dancing? Here's the first part of this week's Strictly Come Dancing betting odds, for Jan Ravens, Peter Schmeichel, Claire King, Carol Smillie and Matt Dawson…
Jan Ravens – It's an interesting time for Strictly Come Dancing; the obviously rubbish dancers have gone – thanks to either the public vote or mystery diseases – and now the mediocre dancers are closest to the firing line, like Jan Ravens. Although she didn't fall over like a fainting goat this week, Jan's Strictly Come Dancing routine to Night And Day still didn't manage to completely win the judges over. One said "The fox is out of the cage!" which either means that a) Jan is improving as a dancer, b) the judge was making a confused foxtrot joke, c) he'd actually released a fox onto the stage or d) he was playing with himself during the analysis and was telling Jan in a coded manner. Who the hell knows? SCORE: 24 – Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 100/1
Peter Schmeichel – Ok, so we were wrong. Just as Peter Schmeichel was starting to win over a public sceptical of his ability as a dancer, Peter made a series of glaring mistakes on Saturday's Strictly Come Dancing. Sadly he didn't squeeze his partner so hard that her eyes popped out, but he did choose to perform his routine to the least appropriate piece of music in the history of dance – the theme-tune to Mission: Impossible. And the Strictly Come Dancing judges wanted to throw scorn on the routine, even if they had to do so while making puns so weak that a stiff breeze would decimate them; "Paso Doble? You couldn't pass a tortoise." Not a clue, seriously. SCORE: 19 – Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 40/1
Claire King – Everyone has their own comfort zone, and it takes a brave soul to venture out of it. As far as Strictly Come Dancing goes, Claire King's comfort zone involves looking a bit dirty, waggling her boobs around and wiping her vagina up Brendan Cole's leg. On Saturday Claire King ventured out of this comfort zone, and got kicked in the arse as a result. Commentating on her routine to Sweet Caroline, a Strictly Come Dancing judge told her "Stick to the dirty stuff and leave the elegant stuff to others," – a sentiment echoed by all the bored shitless Dads who say they only watch Strictly Come Dancing because their wife makes them even though the highlight of their week is seeing a flash of Claire King's knickers at Saturday teatime. SCORE: 24 – Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 28/1
Carol Smillie – Carol Smillie might be a good dancer or she might be a bad dancer. We're not sure because Carol Smillie just happens to be such a phenomenally boring dancing that we tend to listlessly switch over and watch a snippet of whatever history channel documentary about Napoleonic France is on the moment she takes the stage. This week, Carol's Strictly Come Dancing routine to some old Lionel Richie song made one judge shout "Dancing around on one leg for about twenty minutes isn't challenging!" We'd tend to disagree, although we were too busy learning about textile manufacturing in nineteenth century Rouen to pay any attention. SCORE: 29 – Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 25/1
Matt Dawson – Last week we admitted slight feelings of jealousy towards Matt Dawson for being good at everything he tries, although in retrospect we can probably take or leave the whole 'just about being better at dancing than Carol Smillie' thing if we're forced. Especially if it means choosing not to do a Paso Doble to a bloody Meatloaf song, which is how Matt Dawson spent his Strictly Come Dancing screentime on Saturday. The horrible choice of music meant that we didn't really pay too much attention to the actual dancing, although when it was all over, a judge said to Matt that "Sometimes you're the man of La Mancha, then you're the man of Manchester," leading us to believe that he spent the routine committing petty theft and looking a bit dour in a big coat. SCORE: 28 – Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 14/1
Tomorrow – all the other Strictly Come Dancing kids
jadey bbzx says
elo0o0 ppl wat ya up ta i wud jst lik 2 say dat i reli lik de way dat ya wll dance n i wud lik 2 dance jst lik ya all lol
i reli lik de way dat louisa dances n she is reli prittie she as a reli nice dress sense n reli hgd hair styles
sorri i av 2 go nw k cya bbz xxx mwah xxxxxxxxxx
lol says
who writes all these reports??
you lot are so mean lol