You may have heard the fuss by now – Gabby Logan was eliminated from Strictly Come Dancing on Saturday, and everyone reacted like a dinosaur had barged into the studio, eaten both their parents then pooed them out into a hat.
Why did Gabby Logan get the shove from Strictly Come Dancing? After all, she was one of the frontrunners to win Strictly Come Dancing from the outset and had consistently shown that she was capable of near-superhuman determination. In fact, that was probably the reason itself – Gabby Logan was so determined to smash her opposition into dust that she came off a bit like a joyless blonde Terminator. Gabby may have thought she was smiling during her Strictly Come Dancing samba on Saturday, but it was actually a snarl, and not even a very sexy one at that.
Slightly different this week – we’re running Strictly Come Dancing betting odds for the next elimination, so here’s part one – for Alesha Dixon, Dominic Littlewood, Kate Garraway, John Barnes and Kenny Logan – with betting odds from Paddy Power…
Alesha Dixon – As part of Britain’s foremost urban R&B two-step garage girlband Misteeq, Alesha Dixon didn’t really get the chance to be elegant very often. She got the chance to bark like a Tourettes-afflicted dog getting attacked with tasers, yes, but nothing that suggested she could do anything particularly classy. However, Strictly Come Dancing is showing that there’s far more to Alesha than just standing round looking a bit street some of the time, and her American Smooth to Top Hat White Tie And Tails had the Strictly Come Dancing judges all agog at her ability to turn all the way around. “Amazing control through the spins, you’ve really got that nailed.” SCORE – 33; Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 50/1
Dominic Littlewood – Something we hate more than anything is when people we meet refuse to give us any cruel gossip about the people we write about. That happened last week with Dominic Littlewood, who is apparently ‘lovely’ according to a woman we met. But if Dominic Littlewood is so lovely, then why do we want to punch things when we see him on Strictly Come Dancing? His routine to Straighten Up And Fly Right on Saturday’s Strictly Come Dancing was full of the same old cheeky chappy moments that everything else he ever does is full of, including a bewildering Dancing On Ice-style lift performed with all the panache of a scampish schoolboy who’s been caught chewing in class. But the Strictly Come Dancing judges seem to be lapping it all up, telling Dominic “if anyone had told me there’d be anything smooth about you, I’d say they were lying, but this girl has polished you like a diamond!” SCORE – 26; Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 6/1
Kate Garraway – Kate Garraway will be the first to admit that she isn’t too hot at the dancing, although she says that’s because she hurt her leg a while ago. That might not be strictly true, because the further Kate Garraway gets into Strictly Come Dancing the more we’re convinced that she’s just a terrible dancer. For instance, Kate’s samba to Dancing Queen on Saturday literally consisted of Kate standing still and her partner pushing her into different positions occasionally. The Strictly Come Dancing judges weren’t buying it either: “More like a dancing quail than a dancing queen” they told her. However, despite clearly being the worst contestant on the show, we’d imagine that Kate Garraway will still go some way on Strictly Come Dancing because she gets to waggle her boobs around, something that she sadly doesn’t do too often on GMTV. SCORE – 16; Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 2/1
John Barnes – Last week we noted that all of John Barnes’ dancing ability comes from his massive gut, and that the more weight he loses the worse he gets at dancing. That was the case again on Saturday’s Strictly Come Dancing, when he hobbled like a builder throughout his American Smooth to Stay With Me. It was something that the Strictly Come Dancing judges picked up on, and they told John: “You messed it up big time. You lost your footing, then your posture went, then your personality went.” And it’s obvious that if John Barnes keeps losing weight then he’ll only keep deteriorating. Someone get that man a vanload of KFC and a cake the size of a donkey’s head. Fast! SCORE – 22; Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 7/1
Kenny Logan – Kenny Logan is without question the only reason to watch Strictly Come Dancing, because we’re not even sure what he does qualifies as dancing – it’s a sort of angry flailing that we’re almost positive is illegal in some countries. So we were thrilled to see that his samba to Mujer Latina was not a disappointment; in fact it was like watching the inner workings of a fever-stricken rapist’s mind, full of alarming hip thrusts, furious stomping and, at one point, a perfect impersonation of those inflatable waving men you sometimes see outside second-hand car dealerships. Although it left us giddy from giggling, the Strictly Come Dancing judges told him that “It looked drunk to me… You have the grace of a vacuum cleaner! It was bad.” SCORE – 18; Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 2/1
Tomorrow: Strictly Come Dancing betting odds for Kelly Brook, Gethin Jones, Letitia Dean, Penny Lancaster and Matt Di Angelo. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Strictly Come Dancing betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.