The new series of Strictly Come Dancing starts this weekend, and we’re so excited that we’re building a giant wicker effigy of Bruce Forsyth so we can trap anyone who doesn’t like Strictly Come Dancing in the chin section and burn them.
Over the last two days we’ve looked at the betting odds of six Strictly Come Dancing contestants. But they’ve all been crap – at least now on day three of Strictly Come Dancing betting odds rundown we can start looking at the dancers who are, if not good, less rubbish than Jimmy Tarbuck. Don’t forget that anyone brave enough to put in a pre-series Strictly Come Dancing bet at PaddyPower will be rewarded by the most insane odds you can think of.
Here are the Strictly Come Dancing betting odds for Mark Ramprakash, Carol Smillie and Matt Dawson, with betting odds from PaddyPower…
Mark Ramprakash – Mark Ramprakash? Who he? It looks like the BBC is just lazily finding second-rate facsimiles of last year’s Strictly Come Dancing contestants, doesn’t it? So far on these Strictly Come Dancing betting odds, we’ve seen a newsreader like last year, a woman from a BBC medical drama like last year and a world class goalkeeper like last year (OK, the goalkeeper thing happened on a different show, but shut up). And now we have Mark Ramprakash, who is a cricketer – just like Darren Gough from last year. However, Mark Ramprakash is different from Darren Gough for many reasons. For instance, Mark Ramprakash isn’t a tubby git, and also he probably won’t win Strictly Come Dancing. But we’re sure Mark Ramprakash won’t mind – as soon as he’s out of Strictly Come Dancing he can continue to, um, cricket for his, um, cricketing side. Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 12/1
Carol Smillie – Carol Smillie? Who she? This is more like it – a proper celebrity. Carol Smillie has been off our screens for far too long; the last time we saw her she was presenting ITV’s abominable The People’s Court – kind of like a Jeremy Kyle show that encouraged the pikey sitting at home to text abuse to the pikey on TV who’d been taken to court by his pikey wife for sleeping with her pikey sister. Prior to that, Carol Smillie was all about the Changing Rooms, so we hope that she at least makes her own Strictly Come Dancing dresses out of three sheets of MDF and some awful cheap zebra fur. We just happen to think that Carol Smillie might be a bit of a tasty dancer, an opinion in no way based on us seeing a set of topless Carol Smillie photos in The News Of The World once when we were in the confusing throes of puberty and harbouring a totally unjustified obsession with her ever since. Ahem. Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 10/1
Matt Dawson – Matt Dawson? Who he? Are you kidding? Anyone who has even idly walked past a television set for a second without really paying attention to it in the last few weeks will know who Matt Dawson is – the man seems to be on every single TV show on every single channel all the sodding time. Rather than doing what other former sportsmen do – like going into management or buying a pub and filling it with crap to constantly remind everyone that he once played sport for England – Matt Dawson is taking the TV route. He’s a team captain on A Question Of Sport, he’s on that ridiculous Celebrity Masterchef show and now he’s signed up for Strictly Come Dancing. We’d imagine that Matt Dawson’s ludicrously ingrained sense of competition will see him giving Strictly Come Dancing his all, but will that be enough? He’s up against that old lass from Bad Girls, after all. Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds – 9/1
Tomorrow – Strictly Come Dancing betting odds for DJ Spoony, Ray Fearon and Claire King.
[story by Stuart Heritage]