Strictly Come Dancing Betting Odds: Alesha To Win?

What with all the fainting women on Dancing With The Stars, Strictly Come Dancing has a lot to live up to this week - can it replicate the drama of a middle-aged woman slumping to the floor in a fit of exhaustion?

Possibly, because this week is the week when Strictly Come Dancing starts to take itself more seriously. The two oldest Strictly Come Dancing contestants have been voted off - along with a half-remembered man from a soap opera - and that just leaves the cream of the crop. And the bald man from The One Show. And the hobbled GMTV woman. And the clunky rugby player. And the boy from EastEnders who loves himself. And a couple of others. But apart from that, it's Strictly Come Dancing cream of the crop all the way.

Here are the Strictly Come Dancing betting odds to win for Dominic Littlewood, Letitia Dean, John Barnes, Alesha Dixon and Kelly Brook, with help from Paddy Power…

Dominic Littlewood - Dominic Littlewood is a clever man, as are all men who make their living by trying to get a bored shop assistant to knock 10p off the price of a LCD TV, and so he's got Strictly Come Dancing sussed. Dominic knows that he looks exactly like an imp, so he fills his Strictly Come Dancing routines with all kinds of ridiculous Carry On faces and wolf-whistles and 'dear me aren't I hilarious' nonsense instead of any actual dancing. Despite being less funny than flesh-eating bacteria, Dominic continued this tactic on Saturday's Strictly Come Dancing with a jive to Candyman that had the judges oddly explaining to him that "It was a jolly jape of a jive… [you have] arms a bit like Andy Pandy," which we're sure is hilarious to the three surviving Strictly Come Dancing viewers who remember Andy Pandy. SCORE - 25; Strictly Come Dancing betting odds - 16/1

Letitia Dean - Last week Letitia Dean faced the indignity of being in the Sunday night Strictly Come Dancing dance-off, which was embarrassing for everyone since she was going to be the marquee name on the forthcoming Strictly Come Dancing tour. But could Letitia pull herself together for Saturday's tango to Material Girl? Well the bad news is that she hasn't stopped intermittently pulling faces that make it seem as if a midget keeps rabbit-punching her in the kidneys, and also that there's a good chance she's still trying to get her breath back from Saturday's routine now, but on the plus side the Strictly Come Dancing judges didn't completely hate the routine: "I thought the energy was absolutely amazing," one of them said, although he might have just been discussing his recent day-trip to Dungeness power station instead of Letitia Dean. They are easily mixed up, after all. SCORE - 27; Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds - 66/1

John Barnes - John Barnes is already doing a decent job of looking like the best male Strictly Come Dancing dancer, although first time around the main piece of advice he was given by the judges was 'lose some weight, you fat bell-end'. And that's exactly what John Barnes is doing, even though the weight loss is coming at a cost - and that cost seems to be John losing his dancing ability. Although his jive to Reet Petite was decent enough, it wasn't a patch on this first routine, with the Strictly Come Dancing judges under the impression that he was having trouble with his "upper body – I know she's small, but you hang over her." Maybe all that extra weight was helping John Barnes dance after all, and if that's the excuse he needs to fall asleep face-first in a black forest gateaux then so be it. SCORE - 27; Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds - 16/1

Alesha Dixon - On the basis that Alesha has taken part in Strictly Come Dancing to get over the recent end of her marriage to one of the So Solid Crew, Saturday's Strictly Come Dancing must have marked the stage of the separation process where Alesha imagined all the times that her stinking rat of a husband had touched her and tried to flail about trying to get his fingerprints off her body because, to the casual observer, Alesha's jive to Shake Your Tailfeather looked an awful lot like she was in the throes of some sort of violent exorcism. Which, incidentally, is what the Strictly Come Dancing judges were after, with one expressing the wish that the sight of Alesha thrashing about like a lunatic would "get the youth of Britain up on their feet and Jiving." Hardly - it looked way too energetic for us, but we'd consider playing a jive-based PSP game if it was cheap enough. SCORE - 36; Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds - 2/1

Kelly Brook - Thanks to her partnership with Brendan Cole, Kelly Brook pretty much just dry-humps her way through her Strictly Come Dancing routines these days but, because her dresses are tiny and sparkly, nobody has realised this yet. Case in point: Kelly's Strictly Come Dancing tango to Gimme Gimme Gimme on Saturday. Although technically it was just three sequins away from being classified as hardcore pornography, Kelly had the Strictly Come Dancing judges yammering away as fast as they could so the show could finish and they could jump in a cold shower before their angina hit again: "You are definitely the eighth deadly sin! That was incredible." Funny, we always thought the eight deadly sin was farting. SCORE - 35; Current Strictly Come Dancing betting odds - 7/2

Next week: X Factor betting odds. But if that's too long to wait - or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with - head right over to the Paddy Power Strictly Come Dancing betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.