Selena, Selena, Selena *sigh* what in the actual FUCK is wrong with you, girl?! For YEARS you went crawling back to Justin Bieber’s spoiled brat ass, and now, after all this time, when you got yourself a good man like The Weeknd, you go and decide to invite Justin Bieber over? The fuck, Selena Gomez?
On Sunday, TMZ spotted none other than Justin Bieber heading into Selena Gomez’s home in Studio Hills, California, where they apparently spent the evening with mutual friends. Us Weekly says Selena’s current boyfriend, The Weeknd, knew about the reunion and was cool with it. Mhmm. I’m sure.
The chances of Justin Bieber going to Selena Gomez’s house and it not being shady af are similar to the chances of me believing that Beyoncé didn’t get a tummy tuck after giving birth to them twins. I’m sorry, but I do NOT believe it, and I HIIIIIGHLY doubt The Weeknd does other, because, as his ex, Bella Hadid, might suggest “Homeboy is gonna like…get it.” And by “it” I mean the romantic implications of Justin going to Selena’s home.
However, I don’t think this Selena/Justin reunion is coincidentally timed AT ALL.
Konspiracy Theories with Krysta: So The Weeknd just dropped his latest song called “Die For You” which everyone knows is about his ex-girlfriend, dope meme queen, Bella Hadid. I mean, he all but admitted the song was about her in an interview he did right after their break-up.
I’m suuuuuure Selena was all like “Yeah, no, babe. Like, it’s totally fine. It’s a really good song. I don’t care if it’s about Bella Hadid, you should definitely release it! See how chill of a girlfriend I am?” Next day: “Hey baby, you cool if I invite Justin Bieber over for dinner? I mean, I’ve been so chill about you releasing that song about Bella and it’s totally just dinner, so it’s all good, right?” I see those games, Selena Gomez, because I also played them when I was like 14-years-old and emotionally handicapped and transparent with my game-playing. Insert eye-roll.
Jeff says
I have no idea who most of these celebrities are (The Weekend?) but your writing is hilarious. Please keep it up.