Just a few weeks ago Rob Kardashian announced on Twitter that he’s heading to law school at the University of Southern California. The world reacted with a combination of ?Say whaaaaaaaaa?? and ?Bullshit!? And the people of Earth were right to question this highly unbelievable claim because, as it turns out, it is bullshit. Say whaaaaaaa?
I know, I know ? for some of you this a real shocker, but Rob Kardashian (of the credible, honest, trustworthy family known as the Kardashians) has lied. To us all.
Just take a look:
Going to Law School very soon and so excited and can’t wait! School just never ends for me!
#UniversityofSouthernCal#Trojans#FightOn ? Rob Kardashian (@RobKardashian) August 7, 2012
In a Tweet from USC Law School?s official account:
Rob Kardashian is not coming here, but we wish him luck at law school
@radar_online@ok_magazine@gossipcop ? USC Law (@USCGouldLaw) August 7, 2012
And, just for LOLs:
Rob Kardashian hasn’t even applied to USC Law
@huffingtonpost@eonline@atlblog@usatodayplus ? USC Law (@USCGouldLaw) August 7, 2012
Look, I guess I kinda get it. Bro bro is probably bored. I mean, his life seems boring as all hell. I'm sure he's bored all the time. Hey, he bores me too! I'm about to fall asleep talking about hi?zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
But bored or not, why resort to lying about dumb shit that you're inevitably gonna get called out for? Is the thrill worth the humiliation? At least lie about something cool that only you and no one else can confirm or deny! Here?s the thing: I know why Rob lied. It's in his blood.
Kim, Khloe, and Kwick QuickTrim
Kim and Khloe were both spokesladies for the over the counter diet product QuickTrim. They hocked the shit out of that shit! Avid fans ran out and bought it… only to find out a few weeks later they hadn’t lost any weight. Just the money they spent on the bogus product. But their BFF Kim?insisted the product transformed her body, why would she lie?!
So these scorned womens got together and filed a class-action lawsuit against QuickTrim and the sisters, stating “In reality, QuickTrim?s main ingredient is a large dose of caffeine, which the FDA has determined is not a safe or effective treatment for weight control.” Oh. But let’s be real folks, anyone who looks at this ad and isn’t blinded by the abundance of airbrushery needs to have the Photoshop recognition section of their eyes checked.
Also, someone who is as wealthy as one of the Kardashian sisters is definitely NOT using over the counter stuff you can get at Wal-Mart for $20. She’s using the good shit that costs a billionty dollars because it comes from the tears of starving babies and snake penis juices. Not to blame the victims here, but this whole sitch reeks of classic Kardashian behavior: “LIE, SMILE, POSE, LIE, POCKET THE MONEY, LIE. REPEAT.”
Kris Jenner and the Lie Detector Test
Kris Jenner secretly met up with a former flame in the midst of contemplating divorce. When everyone was all, “Why are you being a cheating whore?” she took a polygraph test to prove that she’s not. Even though she is. The machine reported that she lied when asked if she wanted to touch nasties with a dude that is not her husband. Then the polygraph expert?half-convincingly?told the family “Oh, yeah, she’s nervous and that’s why the machine said she was lying.
She totally does NOT want to suck that old man’s dick,” while counting the money Kris J slipped him on the sly. Regardless of the damn results, if you have to subject yourself to a lie detector test — to prove to your husband and children that you’re not having an affair, of all reasons — then you’re probably untrustworthy and lie all the time. And since we’re actually talking about Kris Jenner in this instance, well, that just pushes this one into the realm of yeah, you’re definitely untrustworthy and lie all the time.
Kim & Her Trusting Little Sisters
http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/video/xbok9q
Kim lied to Kyle and Kendall so that she didn’t have to take them to the beach. That’s a good, quality big sister type move if I’ve ever seen one! Granted, this could be some of the same old scripted shit that the Kardashians are known for, because these people aren’t real people, and if there’s no script Kim will just stare in the mirror, smiling dumbly at her own reflection. But I think this is for real real and not just for play play. The way little Kylie or Kendall smashes the flowers at the end totally sold me. It was just like a teenaged girl being pissed that her whore sister lied about taking her to the beach.?That was raw emotion!
Uh? Everything Else Kim Kardashian
The Sex Tape. Is there anyone on the planet who actually believes Kim didn’t have everything to do with the release and?distribution?of her sex tape? That’s more of a rhetorical question, because… duh. The Plastic surgery. LOOK, I'm not going to splay out before and after photos, because we’ve all seen them. I’d just be beating a dead horse in and around the head, up and down the body until it looks like Kim Kardashian. A person’s choice to have work done is their own and they shouldn’t have to justify or admit to it if they don’t want to, but KK volunteers the clearly false information that she’s only tried botox.
I wonder if she meant to say she got a brand new face botoxed into her face. In which case? okay, pass. The Sham Marriage. The fairytale wedding and all that noise was so painfully, obviously a publicity stunt. Hell, even her former publicist has called out her on her shit. If Kim was a well-meaning, upstanding person, people wouldn't so quickly question her motives. But she's not. She’s phony, fake, and disingenuous.?Basically, to put it plainly… a liar, liar pants of fire. And, keep in mind, them’s some big ass pants.