Steven Tyler & Steven Tyler’s Jowls All Check Into Rehab, Share Room

For three years hecklerspray did nothing but sit out back and smoke rat skin with our 11 cats.

Not the kind of smoking you’re thinking though - we mean we literally smoked them like the skins of a rotisserie chicken. Our intent was to capture a cool smokey aroma in every meal those cats ever ate. It’d be an understatement if we said our efforts went unappreciated, except for Fluffy.

He ate those skinned, savory rat skins by the dozen - he really couldn’t stop himself. After a while he killed and smoked every rat within a 16 block radius. When they were all gone neighborhood babies began to disappear. Now we’re not making any allegations here, but when we killed and smoked Fluffy cribs were just as full in the morning as they’d been the night before.

We do mean literally there, though, about smoking Fluffy. We wrapped him in a hand towel and twisted it shut at both ends. Our lungs probably have an inch of litter box in them. It’s because that cat pooped alot, it’s the price he paid. Steven Tyler can relate to this very real tale of Fluffy’s substance abuse.

Well that’s what his new rehab centre might tell us anyway.

When most people think of Aerosmith, they most likely want their late 80s album money back. Also they probably think Steven Tyler’s microphone would be a convenient place to need a nose blow.

And speaking of that Tyler guy - he’s had a string of bad luck, hasn’t he? He had a surgery that jacked-up his tour schedule, he’s like a sponge that soaks up nothing but hepatitis C, and his daughter is recently leaving the husband that Steve may or may not have enjoyed supporting financially.

And now he’s gone and locked himself in a rehab clinic. According TMZ:

“Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler, 60, has checked himself into Las Encinas Hospital drug rehabilitation clinic — the place Dr. Drew practices — in Pasadena, Calif. It’s the same facility where the reality show “Celebrity Rehab” was filmed. Tyler is getting treatment for substance abuse.”

We don’t think Tyler will actually appear on Celebrity Rehab, but if he does we hope it’s with a freshly shaved head and a penchant for running down the halls claiming to be directly descended from Beelzebub. Hey - we all know it’s true, and if you play all his records backwards in alphabetical order you’ll see exactly what we mean.

Also if you cue it with the third lion roar at the beginning of The Wizard Of Oz you’ll see Aerosmith’s entire catalogue is an exact soundtrack to it.

Seriously - just you go look.

Read More:

Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler Checks Into Rehab Facility: Report - MTV.Com