Sometimes a book is so seminal that any talk of a sequel is shot down in a series of fan-based derogatory comments about the author wanting to suck on someone?s nipples or wanking at the altar of capitalist pigs.
As Enid Blyton could testify to if she were here today. Sometimes they work, and sometimes they are the worst thing since bread came brown.
Well Stephen King, him what wrote all those famous horror books, has unveiled a chapter of his upcoming sequel to The Shining. As we all know, The Shining is the one with the little boy who has powers, not the one with the girl who loses her loaf when she gets her first period. Or the one with the killer car.
It was turned into a multi-million pound grossing film directed by none other than legendary filmer Stanley Kubrick and went on to become one of King’s most famous works. Some might say that The Shining is one of the best things that King has ever written. But those people should shut their mouths. Everyone knows that the best thing Stephen King has ever written is The Stand. Saying otherwise will make Sissy Spacek star in Carrie 3: Pre-Menstrual Train-sion, which is basically just Carrie but on a train.
Now the boy from the film, the one with the powers, has all growed up and is now working in a care home. Probably due to Cameron?s Broken Britain. Why would you use powers like that to help some old dears who can't help pissing themselves? Your first job would be to get your Mother a decent haircut. And a better taste in men maybe. She's like a supernatural Kerry Katona.
Just without the ketamine.
Apparently Danny Torrance is looking after some old biddies until (wait for it) a group of psychic vampires called The Tribe turn up. Sounds epic right? Not really. Seems like something you might see on the Horror Channel between the fifth repeat of Supercroc vs Orangu-Man and The Tommyknockers (another Stephen King book of course). There should be some peppy cheerleaders or maybe a self-righteous business woman who wants to know what's going so she can back to the office because she has important business.
HECKLERSPRAY FACT: King has always intended on returning to the best selling book, and has even littered books written later in his career with news of the Torrances and the Overlook. The Overlook Hotel is mentioned by Annie Wilkes, the leg snappiest batshit crazy star of ?Misery.? Apparently her ex-boyfriend went to sketch the ruins of the Overlook. Which is interesting. Presumably he had full use of his legs, but would?ve still had to have had sex with Kathy Bates.
Poor man.
Dr. Sleep, which is what King is calling the sequel hasn't been finished yet, so don't hold out any hope that it'll be out before the middle of next year, although he can knock a book out in six weeks, so you could have it for Easter. Would you like that? I bet you would.
Filthy.
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Katrine says
I guess Kathy Bates don
T-Cake says
I’m guessing English isn’t your first language. But your sense of humor is, well, bad too.
Stephen Isabirye says
Talking of enid Blyton, I am glad to inform you that I have written and published a book on her, titled, The Famous Five: A Personal Anecdotage (www.thefamousfiveapersonalanecdotage.blogspot.com).
Stephen Isabirye
amcmillan3 says
I disagree http://www.dreadcentral.com/news/48639/two-more-stephen-king-adaptations-are-way-under-dome-and-rose-madder
– Alesha