Yes, you read that right. No, those ‘funny’ mushrooms you’ve been gobbling haven’t been making you see headlines that aren’t really there. Status Quo really are the most successful group ever. Kinda.
Ever since their first abomination Pictures Of Matchstick Men, the ‘Quo – two-chord wonders who make Oasis look like Godspeed You Black Emperor – have notched up a staggering 61 chart entries.
The research was carried out by the muso boffins at The Book Of British Hit Singles And Albums. Although – to be quite frank – we wish they’d kept their findings to themselves.
Pony-tailed session guitarist Francis Rossi pulled back the lid of his coffin just long enough to issue the following statement:
"We are delighted and honoured to have received this impressive accolade. Forty years have flown by and we intend to keep rocking all over the world for many years to come."
He then went back to preparing for the release of Status Quo’s 33rd album. Their 33rd.
Enough wallowing in despair, however. Let’s take a look at the rest of the top ten Most Successful UK Artists In The History Of The Universe.
Hang on – did we say enough wallowing in despair? We actually meant carry on wallowing in despair. Bathe yourself nice and deep in despair as you survey the other artists …
1. Status Quo (CDs) – see above
2. Queen (CDs) – the worst band in the history of mankind
3. The Rolling Stones / UB40 – A curious combination. The Stones are fantastic – as you already know. UB40 suck balls like a defective lottery machine – as you’re probably aware too.
4. U2 /Depeche Mode – One of them is a fairly interesting electronic-rock band. The other are a bunch of stadium-hogging egocentrics whose lead singer has (allegedly) almost bankrupt the band on two separate occasions due to ill-advised property investments. Guess which is which.
7.Bee Gees / Pet Shop Boys / REM – Three groups who have something in common – they haven’t released a good record for the best part of twenty years.
10. Manic Street Preachers – Want to know what happened to Richey? They ate him0.
Read More:
Status Quo Crowned Kings Of UK Singles Chart – NME.com
[story by C J Davies]