Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge Of The Sith is still calling the box office it’s bitch, taking more money in a microsecond than you earn in a month. But it’s not over: people are rushing out of the cinema and buying DVDs of the original Star Wars trilogy to see what happens next.
The only problem with this is that watching a film takes so long. In the 121 minutes that it takes to watch Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope, you could have done many far more constructive things with your time. Like whittling a twig into a tiny totem pole for ants to worship, or gluing yourself to the rudder of a boat.
Also, you know what else would have improved the original Star Wars film? George Lucas should have got rid of all that John Williams flapdoodle and replaced it with mid-eighties power-ballads, preferably Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey (CDs). And they should have had a wookiee standing on top of a spaceship playing a double-necked guitar solo.
What’s that? Tim Ireland‘s made a condensed version of Star Wars that also doubles up as a music video for Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey? That’s incredible news.