Stacy Keibler Got A Long Term Contract This TIme

Stacy Keibler MarriedStacy Keibler used to be a “wrestler” which basically meant she was paid to act poorly and show off her legs in booty shorts.? Then she?tried to become a serious actress, except that she was still missing that little thing called “talent.”? Eventually got?the role of her lifetime as George Clooney’s “Less famous girlfriend of the month.”

Clooney kept her around for?about two years before Stacy got?a little too clingy and comfortable with her gig, and had to be let go.? But now Stacy has gotten something from her new dude that she never would have gotten from George- a wedding ring.

George Clooney likes to date women not nearly as famous as he is.? It helps keep his ego nicely stroked that he never really has to compete with the arm candy he decides to employ.? Clooney makes it very clear that he will never marry these women, or give them any babies, and that as long as they act like proper children should?and be seen and not heard, they can stick around for a while.? Eventually though, most women let their hormones and biological clocks start taking over, so George has to dump them and move on to the next lady young enough to be his daughter.

Stacy Keibler was one of these lucky ladies to have an agent who was really good at their job, and score the part of George’s girlfriend.? And for two years she happily stood next to him at events, peeking over his sexy salt and pepper head at all the other bitches around her, and enjoyed her huge surge in fame and popularity.? People suddenly knew her name, cared who she was. Sadly though, just all the women before her, Keibler eventually realized she wanted things Clooney would never give her, and he dropped her.

Around that time, Stacy lied and told people that marriage was “the last thing on my mind” but we know we can all call bullshit on that one.? ?Keibler was instead determined to get a ring from some guy, so she immediately jumped back into the dating scene.? Just weeks after getting canned, she began dating Jared Pobre, some rich dude from California.? And just a few months after that, they ran off to elope.

In a statement that totally isn’t meant to take a jab at Clooney,? Stacy said this about her new hubby-

“My happiness is indescribable!? Marriage is the ultimate bond of love and friendship.? It means putting all your faith and trust into a person that you can’t help but believe is your soul mate. Someone who has all of your best interests at heart; someone handpicked for you, to help you grow and be the best person that you can be. Jared is all of this for me.”

I mean, I guess going from George Clooney to another millionaire with nice abs and a pretty face isn’t really a loss.? Plus, we all know Keibler will be knocked up within the next few months, so there will always be that child support to look forward to in case it doesn’t work out.