You know what tomorrow is? It’s 2010. A whole new year. A blank page. What it contains is down to you.
Actually, that’s a lie. What it’ll contain is hair loss if you’re a boy, thick wiry hair sprouting out of your body if you’re a girl, partial loss of skin elasticity, weird pains that come and go for no reasons, chronic overtiredness and a general feeling that you’re not going anywhere and it’s all a big waste.
So before that non-stop hellride starts, let the hecklerspray staff take you on a self-indulgent tour of what they liked best about 2009. Yay!
Stuart Heritage
Being asked to help out with World Contraception Day was pretty good. Not only did I meet a bunch of lovely people in the process, it turns out I have the capacity to occasionally care about stuff, too. Who knew? Also, interviewing Dappy from N-Dubz looks like it's going to be the highlight of my professional career. Oh, and Slankets. Oh, and Jedward. Oh, and sarcasm.
Matthew Laidlow
Even though I've had it for ages, Twitter kicked off massively this year and gave me a smaller platform to spout my gibberish rants. I might not have a cult of followers like Stephen Fry but I have shamefully been excited when Andrew W.K followed me and I had a mini chat with the last original Sugababe ? Keisha. I had nothing to do with her being kicked out of the group, honest. It has enabled me to talk to random people I have never met about the weirdest of things. My personal favourite was a debate on what topping should go in to a baked potato. Tedious I know, but being slightly simple it makes my day go a bit quicker. On a more serious note, I have read more blogs I never knew existed. I now feel like a baking lord after badly trying to recreate recipes from the lovely ladies at Domestic Sluttery. And for more realistic TV reviews, Watch With Mothers always nails it. God bless you Twitter, it’s more than a celebrity stalking aid! Send me messages of love, anger, freebie alerts and spelling corrections to @MatthewLaidlow.
Chris Laverty
Goodness knows. Games maybe? Some good ones this year. Either Uncharted 2, which is like playing a movie: better photo realistic graphics, superb voice acting; though maybe too much shooting and not enough exploring. Or Batman: totally immersive, has a gripping story and acting, original stealth approach and some wickedly simple but effective fighting. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 was just mad. And a little bit sick. Or perhaps I'll just settle for Shakira in that She Wolf video. A big bobbly butt, looks a bit like Phoebe from Friends (series 1), she smiles, jiggles, dances like a mad uncle. Yeah, it has to be Shakira. The best thing about 2009 for me was Shakira?s ass.
Amy Grindhouse
Being a contributor for hecklerspray. Cheesy, but true. I have my own site, sure. But this has been a great place to spend the better part of the year letting loose. I started contributing weekly back in February of this year. It has been downhill from there. So, I’d like to say thanks to the gang for letting me embarrass them and myself, weekly, for 10 months. May I continue to be the bastard child of the family through 2010 too.
Josh Burt
Fashion Discovery of the Year
Doing my top button up. I’d never done this before, and then I did it, and I liked it. Whether I will carry on doing it, I just don’t know, but I’m about two weeks in and there’s no sign of me undoing it. This could be the big look next year. Or not.
Food of the year
It’s been another strong year for food – particularly Double Deckers (there’s now a ‘massive’ option), Pickled Onion Monster Munch seem to be enjoying a second stab in the sunshine, and a McDonalds mix up forced me to try a filet-O-fish. It was delicious.
Paul Gibson
In an unfamiliar city and desperate for some good Chinese? The iPhone. Got lost while driving and need to know your exact global coordinates plus how to get home? The iPhone. Desperately unpopular arsehole who can’t bear to lose at a pub quiz? The iPhone. Every single other time in your life when you have a problem that’s getting you down? Three-inch remote-controlled helicopter. And a cat.
Keith Emmerson
Jade Goody’s media death
A fairly sure-fire way to silence one of the most lamentable people in Britain would be for her to die right? How wrong we were. I should probably make clear at this stage that it isn’t her death I’m celebrating, but rather the perpetual media circus that followed it. The news feedback comprising reports of her life and ‘legacy’, and then the comments on those reports and how they should let her rest in peace, then the comments pointing out the irony of those comments, created the most bizarre and self serving, not to mention macabre news event of the year.
Louise Scodie
Resurgence of event TV and rise of Twitter
Historically event television has been a massive uniting factor in this country. Yet with the advent of Freeview and internet porn, most people thought it was over. Mais non! 2009 saw some brilliant event TV moments like yucky old Nick Griffin on Question Time and Cheryl and Dannii?s glamorexia on X Factor. Event TV brings people together in a very specific way and this makes me happy because I like it when we all have something to share. The rise of Twitter also rocked my socks, especially its #welovenhs campaign. Take that, paranoid misinformed Americans!
David Scarborough
Ghostbusters: The Video Game
Not the most crafted game of the year and by no means the most impressive, but my God, it was glorious. Like nostalgia, wrapped up in a neat little box, this game unleashed the 80?s child inside me and reignited the passion I once had. Now all I need is a flaccid foam Proton Pack and I'm six again!
Robyn Wilder
John and Edward from X Factor won my heart from the moment they appeared on screen and said:
?I'm John.?
?And I'm Edward.?
?And together we are?.!?
?? John and Edward.?
Shawn Lindseth
My favorite thing of 2009, because a picture is worth a thousand words:
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magnetite says
The above: for the wry smiles, coffee splurts, belly laughs, shit-eating grins and near-hysterical giggles you caused to wrack my brittle frame and split my fizzog. You also informed me, but that hasn’t yet made me wee myself a bit.
You all soundly deserve that arse-kissing.
Also the North Korean family that I pay to do my breathing (and execute the more horrible bodily functions) for me. Thanks to you all. Except Uncle Ho. You turned up late for the lung-shift that day and the resulting oxygen deprivation means that I don’t know what waterfalls or carborundum are any more.
You’re fired.
magnetite says
Almost forgot the regulars down here too. You kept me sane. Or insane. I’m not sure which, but I value you for it.
halo says
Congrats Shawn. Beautiful and I’m sure brilliant!
In a most craptacular year and oh was it, the ‘spray has helped me carry on with sarcasm, snark and laughter. For that I am grateful.
The best to all ‘sprayers in 2010!