They may be talented vocal artists on the music front but as actors on the big screen they are largely an embarrassing cinematic presence. There are exceptions, (Cher's an Oscar winner for instance) but these are few and far between.
So let us present to you the top 10 worst singer celluloid performances by musicians who frankly knew they really stunk as actors but signed up for the goddamn movie anyway…
1. Whitney Houston in The Bodyguard (1992)
There's no denying her status as an R&B diva, but when you take away her singing voice what are you left with? Well a temperamental rich diva playing a temperamental rich bitch diva, who continuously mounts pussy fits and gives a largely soap operatic performance that is more in tune with an overblown episode of Dynasty than a glossy thriller, (then again it was the early 90s). With absolutely no spark ignited between her and her equally wooden co-star Kevin Costner (who should have known better) this 'romantic thriller' falls flat no matter how high Houston can belt out a note.
2. Tom Jones in Mars Attacks! (1996)
Blurting out It's Not Unusual comes naturally to the Welsh singing sensation, but unfortunately acting doesn’t! In Mars Attacks! – Tim Burton’s preposterous parody of 1950s sci-fi B-movies – Mr Jones is required to perform his signature tune and then act all concerned when he, and the entire population are under attack by a sudden slew of intangible aliens from outerspace. The result is… well frightening!
3. Madonna in Die Another Day (2002)
To be honest Madge is pretty awful in almost every movie role she chooses (Evita was a musical performance above anything else), but Die Another Day bears special mention for both her equally dogawful contribution to the title score, and hopelessly flimsy cameo appearance as a lesbian fencing instructor who jabs "I don't like cockfights". Well, as Bond once said in Live and Let Die, "There's no sense going out half-cocked" is there Madge?
4. Phil Collins in Hook (1991)
In Buster the Genesis front man gave a fine, witty performance, but his bit-part performance as Detective Good in Steven Spielberg’s disastrous fairytale flop was… well, not good at all. In fact it's a largely pointless embarrassment, rather like the film itself.
5. Diana Ross in The Wiz (1978)
The former Supreme was revealed as an acting calamity when she put in a truly preposterous turn as Dorothy in Sidney Lumet's musical take on The Wizard of Oz. By all accounts her hammy 'acting' is so out of sync with the story that you wonder whether she was caught up in her own dizzy chain-reaction?
6. Wayne Newton in License to Kill (1989)
A truly cringeworthy turn for the American singer and Las Vegas entertainer. Newton stars as manipulative faith-healer Professor Joe Butcher in what amounts to a largely forgettable turn as an odious Bond henchman, who irritatingly hisses "Bless your heart!" at regular intervals.
7. David Bowie in The Prestige (2006)
Under normal circumstances Bowie is usually a show-stealing presence in the movie limelight, installing an appropriately surreal and supernatural charge into his characters (see Labyrinth, The Hunger and The Man Who Fell to Earth). But in Christopher Nolan's brilliant mystery thriller The Prestige his performance is destroyed by his decision to adopt a goofy voice, making him sound more like a dreaded Frank Spencer impersonator then a powerful enigmatic wizard.
8. Bob Dylan in Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid (1973)
While he contributed a suitable rich, nostalgic and atmospheric score for Sam Peckinpah's seminal western, Bob Dylan also put in a largely thankless role as the constantly mumbling gunslinger Alias. It's an unfortunate pitfall amongst the beautifully sun-drenched aesthetics, but we're thankful for the music.
9. Busta Rhymes in Halloween: Resurrection (2002)
OK so the material for this detestable horror sequel is dog shite at best, but it isn't helped by Mr Rhymes's cockamamie presence as a kung-fu kicking victim. His performance is so incredibly awful that his iconic status in the American hip-hop scene should have been subsequently tarnished. It certainly Ain't Safe No More!
10. Britney Spears in Crossroads (2002)
Judging from her feeble appearance at the London premiere in Leicester Square, Britney blatantly didn't have much faith riding on her acting debut. And appropriately her pitiful turn in this teen road movie was so critically panned it garnered her a Razzie Award for Worst Actress. Threatening to hit us one more time with another comeback movie role pegged Memoirs of a Medicated Child will inevitable make it clear that she should have stuck to the Mickey Mouse Club.
[story by Oliver Pfeiffer]
Andrew says
“There are expectations,”
I think you mean “exceptions”…
Bob says
Somehow you have left out Mariah Carey in “Gliitter”. Or was that in fact a worthy performance?
Carmela says
hook is an ace film! to be honest i didnt even know phil collins was in it. Rufio Rufio RU-Fi-OOOO i used 2 think he was well fit when i was a kid.
Michael says
The previous comment was accidentally sent. There are clearly some biases here. I would hardly rank Whitney in the Bodyguard as one of the worst. I thoroughly enjoyed that movie as I know many did. I actually bought the collectors edition. And as far as Kevin not knowing what he was doing……. Sorry! He did and they’ve got the 400 + million in ticket sales and a top selling dvd to prove it. One must be doing something right if an audience continues to go back into the theatre again and again and then proceed to purchase its dvd. Kevin specifically stated that he wanted the movie to have the dust of old hollywood …..and it did! The acting style was very similar. When I look at old movies, one could say the same about most actors and actresses of old hollywood such as Audrey Hepburn and Joan Crawford. Casablanca is very celebrated but the acting is almost corny as was most of old hollywood movies in terms of the acting however it was obviously the style of acting at the time. The Wiz is actually my favorite movie of all time and I know many who love it. It’s a cult classic especially in the African American community. Her acting was great though I thought playing a plain jane was maybe not in her best interest however the movie resonates with many still today as a cultural reference. That is a great thing. But to each his own. I assure you that many disagree with your list.
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euclid says
“One must be doing something right if an audience continues to go back into the theatre again and again and then proceed to purchase its dvd.”
Okay Train Man, Mom wants you back in the basement
until you’ve settled down.
toolahroolahroolah says
You 4got Liza Minnelli.
Terrible in anything.
Terrible in everything.
Eli says
Minelli is far from terrible in Arrested Development
Zimster says
Okay, Dylan should be on the list, but not for Pat Garrett. Have you forgotten about a little movie by the name of “Hearts of Fire”?
rangerider says
I think you may have overlooked Neil Diamond in The Jazz Singer…
Jefferey Roehrman says
I think years 2010 would be a good one for this beautiful star
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Melissa Suffield says
lol, phil collins was in hook?? get out of here… i’m off to imdb to confirm that lol. Melissa Suffield
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