Live Earth – the energy-gulping series of global concerts that will slurp electricity and dump waste in order to teach the world that energy gulping, electricity slurping and waste dumping is killing the planet – has just signed up Spinal Tap.
Yes, that Spinal Tap – the deliberately bad spoof 1980s metal band from legendary mockumentary This Is Spinal Tap – are the latest group to be added to the Live Earth Wembley line-up; a line-up that's already packed with planet-saving, sales-increasing artists like Madonna, Paulo Nutini, Keane, Razorlight, Corinne Bailey Rae and James Blunt. So at least it's good to see that the pretend heavy metal group made up of a Lord and Ned Flanders from The Simpsons have given Live Earth a little bit of credibility at last.
We've been told that the Wembley leg of the Al Gore-announced Live Earth concerts could have sold out five times over; which, to our calculations, means that we completely underestimated the amount of foolish idiots who don't realise that paying £55 to drive to a huge sports stadium in their cars only to eat and drink overpriced refreshments from a mountain of disposable containers and bleat smugly to themselves that climate change is really important in between Snow Patrol songs might just be a teensy bit hypocritical.
So far, though, Live Earth has been warmly received by eco-friendly popstars like Madonna and James Blunt – people who respectively throw away toilet seats after they've shat through them once and buy entire mountains when the mood takes them – but the response to Live Earth hasn't been so warm everywhere.
For instance, Live Earth wanted to use the most preposterous rock band ever on the Wembley date. However, Muse said no, so Live Earth roped in Spinal Tap instead. Even though Spinal Tap don't actually exist. This Is Spinal Tap director Rob Reiner has been speaking about how much Spinal Tap know about climate change:
"They're not that environmentally conscious, but they've heard of global warming. Nigel thought it was just because he was wearing too much clothing—that if he just took his jacket off it would be cooler."
To coincide with their Live Earth slot, Spinal Tap – or Principle Skinner from The Simpsons, Jamie Lee Curtis' husband and Johnny Stitches from Hey Arnold – have also made a 15-minute movie about climate change and written a song to be premiered at Live Earth called Warmer Than Hell, that apparently goes:
"The devil went to Devon, it felt like the fourth degree/ He said, 'Is it hot in here, or is it only me?"
Yes, we know it's not especially funny, but we're going to stand by Spinal Tap – mostly because they're still letting us wipe our arse, unlike other musicians.