Vanessa Hudgens is so multi-talented – she can sing, she can dance, she can pose naked on the internet.

And, um, that’s about it. But, sadly, the Twilight sequel doesn’t require any of these talents, so Vanessa Hudgens won’t star in it any more. Vanessa Hudgens has denied rumours that she auditioned for the role of Sexy Naked Lady Werewolf 4 in Twilight 2.

Twilight fans will be thrilled – they never wanted an embarrassingly cheesy tween star like Vanessa in their movie to begin with. No, Twilight is all about embarrassingly faux-rebellious tween stars. And silly-haired pipecleaners. And that’s how it’ll stay, damnit!

We’re having serious reservations about Twilight 2, you know. Sure, we could take the fact that the director had changed, and the casting issues didn’t really bother us too much. And we only cried for about two hours when we found out about Robert Pattinson’s haircut. But this?

This is just beyond a joke. Let us explain. On Monday we told you that High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens had auditioned for Twilight 2, and we were thrilled. It would have been such a perfect fit. Both High School Musical and Twilight share a common theme – that pre-marital sex is evil.

True, that theme was more explicit in Twilight – where it was suggested that if you have sex too young a dreary vampire with hair that looks like a dog wound will kill you – but it would have been dealt with more fully in High School Musical had the writers found a good rhyme for ‘abortion clinic’ in the song Bop To The Top.

But that’s not the point. Vanessa Hudgens was going to be starring as a werewolf in the sequel to Twilight, and we were so prepared. We’d found our old Vanessa Hudgens High School Musical doll, stripped her naked like in those internet pictures, glued some of our pubes to her face to make her look a bit more werewolfy and forced her to have nine-hour makeout sessions with our Robert Pattinson Twilight doll. Those were probably the happiest moments of our lives.

But now? Now Vanessa Hudgens has taken our heart and stamped all over it. She’s denied doing any Twilight 2 auditions at all, the big witch. Showbiz Spy reports:

It was claimed earlier this week that Hudgens was gunning for the role of female werewolf Leah Clearwater in the eagerly-awaited second film in Stephenie Meyer’s vampire franchise. But a representative for Hudgens has dismissed the speculation. The spokesperson said, “I don’t know anything about the audition. As far as I know, it’s just a rumor.”

It’s hard news to swallow, we know. That girl from the films you refuse to watch because you’re not a 12-year-old girl won’t be starring in the films you refuse to watch because you’re not a 14-year-old girl. Somehow, together, we’re going to get through this.

But can you really believe what Vanessa Hudgens’ spokesperson said? After all, it was a Twilight castmember who reported Vanessa’s audition in the first place. So maybe all isn’t as it seems. Which is why we think it’s much more likely that Vanessa Hudgens did audition for Twilight 2 but was so abominably bad that she got turned down.

Either that or Vanessa Hudgens went to the Twilight audition, realised that she’d have to spend four months sucking in her cheeks, wearing a silly amount of eye make-up, staring off into the middle-distance in the mistaken belief that it made her look deep and listening to piss-awful Paramore songs on repeat until her ears started to bleed, and turned the role down.

Either way, we’re heartbroken.

You! Follow hecklerspray on Twitter!