A lot of people seem to hate Sophie Ellis-Bextor. And why wouldn’t they? There’s so much to loathe.
There are all those hit records which, alongside a faultless sense of style and strikingly glamorous looks, have quietly made her one of the country’s finest pop stars. There’s that – oh my God – that voice, which, while it may not have the greatest range, has a classy, chocolatey poshness which makes Galaxy bars appear as upmarket as cherry-flavoured Panda Pops by comparison.
With that much going for her it’s not surprising that people hate Sophie Ellis-Bextor. But it is quite surprising to hear her admit that she sometimes Googles the term ‘I hate Sophie Ellis-Bextor’ as a way of finding out how beastly those horrid internet people are about her.
On a website such as this, which has been known to poke fun at the odd celebrity, you might expect to find a cynical article which uses the key term “I hate Sophie Ellis-Bextor” repeatedly to get to the top of search engine rankings and thereby eventually catch the attention of the lady herself.
Then I suppose you’d expect the writer, in anticipation of piquing Sophie Ellis-Bextor’s interest, to write an article full of really nice things about her – including, for instance, a mention of the fact that she doesn’t seem to have aged in ten years, despite now being a mother of two.
You’d probably imagine the writer might go to all that trouble as a roundabout way of drawing Sophie Ellis-Bextor’s attention and then attempting to drum into her pristine, beautiful little head the fact that she should never, ever have married that guy from The Feeling.
That’s pretty cynical thinking, even for hecklerspray’s readership.
By the way, did anyone else hear the rumour that The Feeling once wrote an unreleased song called I Hate Sophie Ellis-Bextor? Shocking stuff!
Anyway, Sophie let slip her masochistic tendency to Google the term ‘I hate Sophie Ellis-Bextor’ in a recent interview with the News Of The World, during which she was promoting her marvellous new single Heartbreak Make Me A Dancer (released June 22nd). This article isn’t a music review per se, but we’re not giving away any secrets when we remark that it is definitely the best pop song of 2009 and deserves to be number one for the entire summer (and most of autumn).
Yes, it’s probable that the term ‘I hate Sophie Ellis-Bextor’ isn’t going anywhere, and indeed is only likely to increase in popularity due to its imminent appearance on every jealous pop star’s blog/Twitter as they enviously eye Sophie’s talent, beauty and success.
Why, if Lily Allen doesn’t drunkenly tap out a post entitled “I hate Sophie Ellis-Bextor” on her MySpace within the month, we’ll commit murder on a dancefloor. A dancefloor where members of The Feeling tend to congregate.
Who wrote this? Why it was Stuart Waterman from the Very Good Website My Chemical Toilet. So thank him, not us.