Song Review: Keane – Spiralling
Then buzz it up
August 11th, 2008 at 16:30 by Matthew Laidlow
“Song review? Don’t you mean CD review, morons?”
For once we decided not to leave ourselves open for getting something wrong and remembered that you can’t physically get hold of this new tune from the UK’s worst drug-taking band, Keane.
Unless you’re one of those posh industry types, this song is unavailable to buy on CD, vinyl or even from one of those fancy digital downloading services. Though we assume it’s on file sharing sites alongside the mis-titled new Elvis and Frank Sinatra album.
Usually we don’t bother telling you how awesome or shoddy a single is, but seeing as it’s free release that didn’t get that much publicity compared to other free downloads, offered by the likes of Radiohead and Sigur Ros, we thought we’d make you aware. Spiralling is taken from Keane’s yet to be released (but probably available illegally on the internet) third album Perfect Symmetry.
Gone are the earlier vocals of fatter-looking lead man Tom Chaplin, who previously sounded like a choir boy whose angelic vocals had crashed head on with him breaking into puberty. 2008 sees a different and experimental sounding vocal style - maybe it was the cocaine, we don’t know, but he seems to be taking on a bit more of an aggressive edge to his singing style. Gone is the quite timid whimper that was sometimes a bit awkward to listen to, but still delighted thousands of Radio 2 listeners.
When trying to work out the reason for this change, it may not be down to him snorting cocaine off the arsecrack of a model. Tom may have been given peppermint tea before the vocal take instead of mint tea. It would piss us off, that’s for sure.
Following strange lyrics from Feeder and their single We Are The People, Keane have managed to arrange the lyrics into questions for fans to answer. Hooray for interactive fun! Instead of the song breaking down and building back up again as per usual we are instead hit with a barrage of questions. Don’t worry, they won’t fry your brain - Chaplin asks if we want to:
“Be a winner, Be an icon, Be Famous, Be the President, Start a war, Have a family, Be in love.”
Because we’re nice, we’ll give you the answers:
“We already are – ask Alan Mcgee, only if it involves free things off PR people, only if we didn’t have to campaign for a year, no – because we struggle to even start a computer up sometimes, we are one happy family and yes – but not with the people from Keane.”
The lyrics are a bit too kooky for a band as commercial as Keane, and they would work better coming from some pissed off communist rapper who is integrating you through his lyrics and why you are a sucker to globalisation.
Not from a posh podgy boy and his mates whose idea of fun on a Friday night is ringing doorbells and running away whilst laughing like people who’ve just seen a pair of tits for the first time.
So what about the music? Well the two bods who no-one seem to know about are still performing. Richard Hughes still bangs the drums and Tim Rice-Oxley is still on the keyboard.
After two albums of just using the boring piano and not even altering the pitch Rice-Oxley has discovered the effects button and decided to jazz things up a bit. Sadly this new direction of incorporating diluted electronic sounds and vocal tweaks doesn’t work.
At best the song sounds like a shoddy remix using the successful song formula that Keane constantly used with songs such Somewhere Only We Know and Everybody’s Changing. With so much free music software for bedroom producers to use, it really just sounds like someone has attempted to remix the older tracks and failed badly.
Oh, and let’s not forget that the daring leap of going hip and copying the dying trend of indie bands with synthesizers simply falls flat on its arse. As this is a free release, we can only hope that the real version suddenly appears and those crazy Keane boys have pulled an early April fool on us, or it’s never going to be anything more that poor.
Still, it’s only a free download. If you don’t like it, e-mail the song around as one of those crap joke chain messages. Title it as “best thing you’ll ever hear” before deleting the song off of your computer and freeing up the space it took up for porn or a better sounding track.
There are a lot available. Trust us.
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August 11th, 2008 at 7:38 pm
It’s always hilarious to see complete and utter garbage reviews like this one. How about not starting the article with negativity… then maybe people will believe that you are actually giving the track a fair listen and legitimate review, instead of specifically searching it out so that you can use it as an excuse to write a horrid review for a band you obviously already hated.
August 12th, 2008 at 1:24 am
For the first time, I actually feel sorry for the reviewer!
August 12th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
“Horrid”? Did someone really just use the word “horrid” in cold blood? Good lord.
August 13th, 2008 at 11:56 am
Matthew Laidlow? It’s all in the name. Perfect Symmetry will be their third number one album, to go with the ivor novello, q awards, brits etc.
As Mike Yardy would say “And you are?”
Good luck with the GCSE results.
With every good wish,
A Huscarl.
August 14th, 2008 at 6:55 pm
A review full of crap all the way through.
I actually think the reviewer is the one who must be taking drugs. Seriously, do you know anything about music or did you just spill every insult you could think of?
Perfect symmetry is going to be another success for Keane, remember my words. And Spiralling is AMAZING!
August 15th, 2008 at 9:17 am
People like this reviewer make me “LOL”.
He has nothing better to do than sit around and bash bands all day.
What a sad, sad man.
tsk.
and to think he could’ve been a winner…or an icon…or famous…or the president…
hmm…
August 15th, 2008 at 5:57 pm
Cheers Allusyn, grapes are accepted to help me feel better.
I’ve done my GCSE’s Jon and even got an A-Level in English! Wow!
If doing drugs turned me in to an utter boring self absorbed knob like Tom Chaplin, i’d rather not “M Z”.
We aim to please KMB…
August 15th, 2008 at 7:20 pm
I have to agree. Matthew, I’ve never even heard of you(after reading this I know why) and I’ve lost so much respect for you.
Regardless of the fact almost every element of this article is wrong (1. Spiralling is on iTunes, had you bothered to look |2. the cheap shot :”but probably available illegally on the internet” 3. ‘fatter-looking lead man Tom Chaplin’ who’s been scarily thin the last two years, had you looked at another photo since yours which is at least four years old 4. The cocaine comments are so misinformed and vindictive I won’t even point out your laughable faults here 5. You try and use the fact he uses questions as a bad point, why? I can’t fathom 6. The Friday night remark…what the hell? Do you think you’re being amusing? 7. “After two albums of just using the boring piano” … oh my goodness. Listen to an album if you’re going to reference it, please. It’s bloody impossible to hear a piano on Under The Iron Sea under all the effects, I’m betting anyone who’s heard it is wondering what on earth you’re on about. 8. The remix thing is stupid. Running out of ideas here? You don’t even have a point. The songs are *so* different I would feel condescending if I explained to you why. 9. You’re right, synthesisers never work. That’s why U2 and REM are such tiny bands.)
ASIDE from that, even if your article had any good points, it’s very poorly written. You sound like some teenager flaming on his blog. Worse, you sound like a Sun journalist with a grudge. Grow up, learn how to write properly, and I don’t mean A-Level English. I mean learn how to write proper, interesting articles, THEN you can write reviews. Until then, please stop wasting people’s time.
August 15th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
Although people may say that this review is full of crap, I have to disagree.
People are entitled to their opinions, and the success or persuasiveness of them, is dependant on the way their argument is presented.
its entertaining, and the style of writing appeals to its young readers who only read something if its on the internet. However all of your arguments have no evidence to back it up, for example none of us know the band personally, what they find fun on a Friday night or which particular arse crack they chose to use as a drug taking aid.
This review has nothing to do with the music or the record. Its quite frankly a character assassination, on someone who has achieved two well accepted albums and millions of fans.
The development of the record, the bands inspirations, experiences and journey has been documented on their site, so people know the meaning behind the music, the change of style and most importantly the lyrics.
I think that a real journalist would have researched this and written a comprehensive and more accurate review,about the music and not about the lead singers appearance or personal life, if you you were writing a piece for heat magazine then your “review” may have gotten a little more respect. its a real shame nowadays that its easy for success hungry journalists have to turn to cheap and offensive digs at people who work hard, while they sit at their desks, their identity protected so we can’t comment on their figure, their habits, or tastes, for quick notoriety.
I hope that your career goes well and you can begin to write how a successful music journalist would, about the music, if not then try and get a job in the Samaritans, you sound like such a compassionate,person.
To conclude, what I’m trying to say, in simpler words
is your a no talented, cheap, ignorant bully.
By the way I’m not a Keane fan. I am however a journalist.
Good luck. You’ll need in this industry if you continue like this.
August 16th, 2008 at 12:03 am
I think that guy’s apostrophe key is broken…he didn’t use a single one. Left out a few commas, too. Don’t journalists use punctuation? Maybe it’s not important, but it sure is annoying.
August 16th, 2008 at 12:03 am
And I don’t give a *$#@ about Keane.
August 16th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
If you insist on writing such a ridiculous review, please get your facts right. Spiralling has been avalible on itunes since Monday.
Oh, and by the way the cocaine jokes? They’ve been done to death if you had’t noticed - so perhaps it’s time to change the record.
August 18th, 2008 at 9:53 pm
I felt as though horrid was the only word which could adequately express exactly how I felt about this article.
August 19th, 2008 at 2:43 am
Dude, who are you??
August 19th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
this review sucks, spiralling is a great song. the reviewer is lame, he just doesn’t know anything better than cocaine jokes. and if the first albums where not good according to him, why did keane sell them real well and why did they get awards for it? take that! i am actually waiting for perfect symmetry to release.
August 24th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
This review is awful. If you listen to the songs lyrics, this is what they talk about- people such as yourself bringing us as a society down. Get a life dude and grow up a bit before you start commenting on things you clearly don’t understand.
August 26th, 2008 at 11:21 pm
HEY FU** YOU I HAVE TO ASK FIRST DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MUSIC? IT SEEMS TO ME YOU DONT KNOW NOTHING AT ALL BUT YOU KNOW LETS WAIT FOR THE ALBUM RELEASE SO THAT WILL KEEP YOU IN SILENCE AS YOU SEE THE KEANE ALBUM BECOMING THE BEST ALBUM OF THE YEAR YOU WILL SEE
August 30th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
I think this song shows the progression of music in the 21st century so far and how the band have developed to addapt to the modern indie scene.
This reviews a bag of wank and the song is awsome.
September 2nd, 2008 at 12:00 am
Wow, what a nasty, poor review.
I only found this article because I heard ‘Spiralling’ on the radio today and was blown away by it. I had no idea that it was by Keane til afterwards and am not a fan, but good on them, its a fantastic powerful song. So for a sad hack reviewer to pick it to bits and get his facts so woefully wrong… well, you deserve all you’ve got mate. Hope you learn from this - respect the intelligence of your readers, as well as what you’re reviewing.
September 2nd, 2008 at 5:33 pm
“the UK’s worst drug-taking band, Keane”‘?!
is this a joke?
Cause I don’t find it funny.
This isn’t a album review, it’s a character review.
Man, you’ve got to do some research before writing your opinion, cause it’s all false (apart from the drug adiction that is no longer an issue).
Reviews should be objective and impartial. You have clearly failed on doing so.
September 17th, 2008 at 9:51 pm
Mate, I think think you have to agree, from the copious volume of people calling your review a load of shit, that you review really is, in fact, a load of shit.
Get a life, and perhaps a copy of journalism for dummies.
September 25th, 2008 at 11:55 pm
i am really looking forward to this cd i think its going to be so much better then the last. after making me wait so long for a new cd it kind of has to be!
October 9th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
I, for one, totally agree with the points the reviewer brought up (”hip” synths, lead vocal changes for the worse, unforgivable lyrics).
You may not like the style, but the assessment is right on if you ask me. The album is just bad - I wanted to like it - I’m a Keane fan, but that doesn’t mean I’ll overlook the mess that is this album…
October 15th, 2008 at 6:34 am
Really loving this CD, I finally listend to the whole thing and it’s amazing! They did a great job!
October 22nd, 2008 at 4:48 am
I really like the new album. Especially “The Lovers are Losing” great track!
November 5th, 2008 at 9:47 am
Spiralling is a great track. I haven’t had a chance to listen to the whole album yet but I’ve heard good things!