Someone Else Cheats On Kerry Katona, Kerry Katona Responds As Expected

Kerry Katona must never be short of male admirers, because men like nothing more than failed popstars who advertise minor freezer-based supermarkets and do endless magazine interviews about what dreadful chavs they are, right?

And Kerry Katona might be needing those male admirers at the moment because it's being reported that she's just had a blazing row and thrown her husband Mark Croft out of her house for cheating on him. However, what these reports don't state is that Kerry Katona has never had a conversation that's been less than a blazing row in her entire life. In fact, on the Kerry Katona discussion scale, 'blazing row' is actually fairly low down the list, and is the equivalent to what most people would call 'a nice chit-chat over a lovely cup of tea'. Mark Croft should be thanking his lucky stars that he only got a blazing row from Kerry Katona and not a 'full-tilt, borderline-demented, chub-mouthed, cocaine-stimulated meltdown'. Because we've heard that Kerry Katona isn't all that bad at those, either.

Kerry Katona's had a life, hasn't she? We know what a terrible life Kerry Katona has had because of that book she wrote called I Am Probably Worse Off Than Anyone Else On Earth, Even African AIDS Orphans and all those interviews she does in weekly women's magazines with headlines like Kerry Katona: Fuck Me, What A Gigantic Chav. But however bad Kerry Katona's life has been, it's only got worse in recent weeks.

Although the extent of Kerry Katona's problems used to be limited to a debilitating cocaine addiction, a husband who used to be in Westlife and rumours of a one night stand with Ziggy off of Big Brother, the past few weeks have seen Kerry Katona get embroiled in a bitter custody fight for her children, be the victim of a knifepoint burglary and go to rehab to apparently treat her 'bipolar disorder'. But as bad as everything gets, Kerry Katona can always count on the love her husband Mark Croft, the man who romantically knocked Kerry Katona up and then got married to her just before the baby was born. Their love is real and true and strong.

Except it isn't. Kerry Katona has just thrown Mark Croft out of her house over a Sunday newspaper report that he'd been boning a bunch of women just after he proposed to her. The Sun reports:

Obviously, infidelity is a big shock to take in, even when you're as relentlessly chavvy as Kerry Katona, so our hearts go out to her. And, for what little it's worth, hecklerspray would never ever dream of cheating on Kerry Katona ever. True, that's because we'd need to be with Kerry Katona in the first place to cheat on her, and the idea of that physically repulses us, but so what?

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Kerry's Kicked Out Her Hubby - The Sun