Adam Lambert is like a pop T Rex. He’s a little gyrating glamour-puss with a penchant for being as camp as he damn well pleases. Seeing as this is ‘coming out’ week, we feel we should applaud him for ramming his gayness down people’s throats. Apart from those consenting, we don’t mean that literally.
Anyway, as we all know, there are a lot of simple minded, slackjawed simpletons out there who, for reasons not clear to anyone, think that it’s their business where someone they’ve never met might want to stick their engorged member.
Over in Malaysia, there’s an Islamist opposition party who have stomped their angry little feet and demanded that authorities cancel a planned concert by Lambert, just in case they become aroused by him and have to flog themselves into a coma with their own disgust.
Apparently, Lambert will be going all that way to promote “gay culture”. Strange. We thought he would be more interested in promoting his records and expensive merchandise instead. Promoting homosexuality is noble and all, but really, it doesn’t pay the bills like promoting things that people can buy from a stall in the foyer.
The Pan Malaysian Islamic Party (PAS) has also threatened to call “as many of its members and supporters” to try and convert concert-goers if the performance by the former American Idol runner-up goes ahead this week.
PAS Youth leader Nasrudin Hasan, who probably has a really nice arse or something, says:
“Adam Lambert’s shows… are outrageous, with lewd dancing and a gay performance that includes kissing male dancers, this is not good for people in our country.”
Considering that homosexual sex is a criminal offence in Malaysia, it’s unlikely a bit of glam-pop is suddenly going to turn conservative Muslims into raving queens.
Sadly, PAS isn’t some tiny little faction of twerps spoiling it for everyone (and that includes the billions of really nice Muslims out there) by being the loudest of the bovine brained conservatives. They are in fact Malaysia’s second-largest political party with close to a million members.
Lambert isn’t the first performer they have gone after. They’ve gone after Beyonce, Rihanna, Gwen Stefani, Avril Lavigne and Mariah Carey. They really don’t like pop-music do they? hecklerspray thought everyone on Earth liked Beyonce!
Sadly and sensibly, Lambert has agreed with an official from Malaysia’s Arts, Culture and Heritage Ministry to sign a contract agreeing to play along with the Ministry’s rules on performances.
Basically, he’s going to have to tone down his performance or something really awful might happen to the fans attending the show. We can only hope that a percentage of the PAS demonstrators gets an erection during the performance.
Mark says
A+ write up, except for one correction:
“He
dakota says
Hilarious, sarcastic, insightful, well-written. There is no reason an article can’t be both informative and fun. You have covered all the bases. Now, go watch Adam rock the house. I have been to 8 (3 with my husband, 2 with my husband and teenagers) concerts and would go to 80 more (well, I kinda have since I have watched every video from every show.) Adam’s concerts are joyfilled celebrations of life, not GAY life, just life in general. He sings, he laughs, he gets silly, he gets serious, and he takes us on a journey that ends with everyone walking out the door wanting more Adam.
alienlionness says
LOL Well said! All of it. :)
Mark says
Great article! Laughed myself silly. I am so glad that Adam is still performing there, his fans love him so much. As for sexed-down, Adam just has to lift an eyebrow and people die. Deadly weapon that one. I hope those protesters do get hard-ons, I will laugh thinking about it while the concert is on. It is worth going to any Adam concert for his voice alone, he can sit on a chair and not move the whole time for all I care. However, the sexy moves and kisses are icing on the already gorgeous cake. Thanks again.
Bruce says
I’m glad he’s going through with it. He has a lot of fans their and the show is basically sold out. A lot of his Malaysian fans have been concerned that the show would be canceled. Lambert is right though, as he said in an earlier interview it’s all about entertaining not making people feel uncomfortable. He’s there to promote his CD and as stated above not promote gayness. The time to make a political statement is not in a muslim country run by extremists. It could endanger the concert-goers, his band and himself. Lambert is used to protestors anyway. He’s had several show up at a few of his concerts to protest his existance.
WitchyWoman says
And some parts are larger than others…. and sparkly…. j/s :D
tallula says
YOU NAILED IT!!!
TANX FOR GOOD READING :)
number8gurl says
Awesome job! Thank you for sprinkling some glitter and satire on this very downer of a story. I’ve been so upset about this whole deal. Your story made me laugh although the very serious points are still made cleverly wrapped in sarcasm and dry wit. I hope Adam reads this.
Number8gurl says
@bruce
I said this exact same thing to someone on Facebook the other day.
“The time to make a political statement is not in a muslim country run by extremists. ”
Sadly a Malaysian fan (who is a good Twitter friend of mine) just this morning compared PAS to the WBC protestors in the US. I wanted to be polite and positive about this show because of course she is going and very excited, but seriously PAS is far more powerful and dangerous than WBC c0uld ever hope to be. Adam can dance, and swivel and kiss guys and be gay in front of WBC all he wants to…they don’t have the power to arrest him and throw him in prison…apparently PAS does have that power. There’s your difference. My hopes are for a safe and fun show for Adam, his dancers, band & crew and for all of the fans who attend.
Susan L says
I adore this glamour-puss! Thanks for this piece. I’m glad Adam is performing in Malaysia and elsewhere around the world. If Adam limited himself to playing in places where homosexuality is celebrated and gay people had all the same rights as “straight” people, he would have few places to perform–and he wouldn’t get to do any concerts in the United States!
I admire that he’s not only willing to put up with homophobia, but to also call it out so that we all reap the benefit. His shows are awesome and suitable for anyone who loves a good show and has an open mind.
Number8gurl says
@dakota
Perfect! I went to 3 shows (took my teenaged daughter to 2 of them w/me)! We had the best time EVER!!!
“Adam
kristy says
Lol
LambertsLabelle says
THANK YOU!!!!!
Brad says
Great article. Love it! Seriously, at a studly 6’1″ Adam can hardly be described as “little”. A “gyrating glamour puss” yes, but certainly nothing about Adam Lambert can be described as “little”. Thanks for a great article! Made my day!
Glittzchick says
Thanks Number8Gurl: Sometimes people have no idea how lucky they are to live in a country where you are not sentenced to however-many lashes for gay sex. I hear the comparisions, too, but there really is no comparision between a few WB nutsos and country under/guided by sharia law.
Now that the politics are over: Adam, I love you! Call me! (hehe)
harumph says
He is 6 feet tall and at least 185 pounds. His fans tend to exaggerate his height and down size his weight.
Valerie says
yes, lol!! Nicely written with a bite me.
amyinindy says
Thank you for such a witty AND informative article. It’s nice to actually read something about this subject matter that actually makes a great deal of sense. I find it difficult to fathom that I live in a country that is so celebrated for its freedoms. Yet, when someone tries to be themselves — one of the most inherent freedoms of being human — so much hate is spewed.
Your article is a breath of fresh air.
maiingan says
*snerk* Just what I was going to say. The nerve of y’all, calling Adam Lambert “little.”
Seriously, this is a great article. Love the snark and agree with every word!
SoozinCA says
This is by far the best article I’ve read on the subject. In the name of disclosure I admit to being a big fan of Adam’s. The way he handles these situations with dignity and grace is to be applauded with as much enthusiasm as his amazing show on stage garners. I love the humor and sarcasm infused throughout this piece – and though I am clearly NEVER going to be on the receiving end of it, I needed a cold shower in response to the phrase “where someone they
sharon says
MOF:
Love you witty sense of humor and your article makes my day. I won’t be calm until Adam is on a plane out of Malaysia. Nothing against anyone in Malaysis but the PAS.
So sad that any one group can dictate to their contry what is allowed and what is not.
Adamluv1000 says
Very well written tongue-in-cheek article. Some bloggers could learn from you.
Mark – I agree with everything you wrote and can’t say it any better, so I will just say. “yes, what he said”.
IreneRose says
Mark I couldn’t have said it better. What I love also is his fan base, we are young, old, older, men, women, straight, gay, and he brings us all together. Just love that man.
sizzling says
This article is genius! Thank you.
LisaW says
HAHA OMG Mark you are so right: ” Adam just has to lift an eyebrow and people die.” so so true,
sagitariusmoon6givessneakyhugzfrombehind says
I like your article,and I like every person who supports Adam in Malaysia.I’m sure not everyone agrees with extremist ideas of a political party in that country.Art and science well known to be free,no matter what.My full respect goes to Adam because he’ll do anything for his Malaysian fans.We ,the other fans around this globe wish you a great show,and hoping for great vids surface on You Tube.Like the other people said here ; it’s gonna be wonderful,even if Adam sit on a chair and doesn’t move.The lyrics of Aftermath alone holds danger for him to be jailed and criminally prosecuted,so again;my full respect to Adam and my love and support for all his fans.
M says
I could not have said this better myself – God I love this man and everything he stands for and everything that he is. I could not have written the above better myself. I went to two of his concerts this summer – both with my husband. We danced, we sang and we laughed and enjoyed it so damn much. Loved this article loved this response. Adam is amazing. I look forward to his future and what it brings next. For the record, I think the AMA’s blew him off this year because next year it is going to be all about ADAM. Wooohoo!!!! You can not ignore pure intense talent forever. They (tptb) will have to deal with Adam and his “gayness” someday. Amazing talent will overpower this BS. What do you think? I think it is right around the corner and the corner is glitter filled :)
ali4adam says
This piece is funny and powerful. Wonderful phrases such as gyrating glamour-puss and engorged member add humor and impact to the article. Some more colorful phrases made me LOL, even while I felt the intensity of his message. Articles like this convey Adam’s essence so beautifully.
lily says
wow! i really enjoyed reading this article bit sarcastic but full of facts. i know the malaysian culture very well since i lived there for years. they love their music therefore they love adam lambert.
hoohaahee says
Dakota said: “hooe sings, he laughs, he gets silly, he gets serious, and he takes us on a journey that ends with everyone walking out the door wanting more Adam.”
I put this forward as the most fuckwitted comment EVER posted on hecklerspray
Adam Lambert is a talentless ultra camp fanny putting the cause for gay rights back a decade.
Sylvia says
My husband is six foot tall and we just had our picture taken with Adam at Hollywood Hard Rock. Adam is more that an inch taller than my husband. He is clearly over 6’1″. For all of you haters, I had my arm around him and he is slim and toned. He is a beautiful man with a perfect body.
2t2tag says
ohhhhhhh- glamma puss!! love it. these PAS people have to stop taking themselves so seriously . i mean, really, are they so scared of losing themselves so easily into a lifestyle they abhor that WATCHING a lift of the eyebrow,thrust of a hip, a small little kiss will roll them over? these guys sound like babies to me. or more like pussies -GLAMOUR PUSSIES. come on out of the closet PAS, i think that you protest too much.
Bemused says
Obviously, you don’t “get” Mr. Lambert. If an inclusive message mixed with a little glam and glitz aren’t your style, why bother to read this post? Not everyone is supposed to like him, his style is polarizing but, please, less judgmental. If we all liked the same things, this would be a very boring planet. Not need to be mean when stating your POV.