Are you a fan of Nicole Richie and a fan of the band Good Charlotte? Then have we got some news for you!
You like bad music and you’re an idiot. There. Oh, and also Nicole Richie’s pregnant again. We probably should have done that bit of news first, in retrospect.
But anyway, Nicole Ritchie has announced that she’s pregnant with her second baby by Joel Madden. We don’t know if this pregnancy was planned or accidental, but rumour has it that pregnancy is the only way that Joel Madden can stop Nicole Richie from disappearing when she turns sideways.
Motherhood has changed Nicole Richie. Before she had her first baby just over a year ago Nicole Richie was famous for being professionally stupid, whether she was gonking around on TV shows with Paris Hilton or driving into oncoming motorway traffic while blasted on drugs.
But now Nicole Richie doesn’t have the time to be professionally stupid any more, because she’s too busy passing on the fruits of her innate stupidity to her baby daughter Harlow. And now it looks like she’ll have to work twice as hard, because Nicole Richie’s boyfriend Joel Madden has just announced that he’s knocked her up again. On his blog, Joel Madden wrote:
What’s better than winning an Oscar? I am so happy to tell everyone that Harlow is going to be a big sister! God has truly blessed my family. Hope your all feeling as good as i am right now…
We’re thrilled for Nicole Richie and Joel Madden, really, although we have to pick Joel up on one teensy thing – having a baby isn’t better than winning an Oscar. For instance, Oscars don’t crap everywhere. Also, you can’t really sell a baby on Ebay to stop you house being repossessed by the mortgage company. And, while it’s easy to melt an Oscar down to make a crown for yourself, if you try doing that with an actual baby you’re going to get in an awful lot of trouble. Trust us, this is experience speaking here.
But, no, we’re happy that Nicole Richie is pregnant. Because when she had her last baby, Nicole Richie went from being fairly famous to not famous at all, so logic dictates that her new baby will take her from not famous at all to something even less than that. That’s right – once this baby pops out, Nicole Richie is going to turn into Lee Ryan.
But there’s no time to waste here – if a baby’s on the way, Nicole Richie and Joel Madden need to start preparing now. For instance, they have to think of an even crappier British town than Harlow to name their baby after – the smart money’s on either Ramsgate or Sandy Balls – plus they have to baby-proof their house all over again. But it’s OK – there’s a one-year-old in the house now, so maybe it can teach its mother how to work the clip on the toilet this time.