It’s OK, you can all relax – Snooki from Jersey Shore is fine. Well, not fine, obviously, but she’s not dead.
Thank God. We don’t know about you, but we were close to pulling out our Dead Snooki Contingency Plan, which involved looking up who Snooki is on Wikipedia then sort of just shrugging and getting on with our lives. But we don’t need to do that any more.
Because, yes, a glass atrium in a New York building may have collapsed during a party that Snooki was attending, but Snooki is fine. Well, not fine, obviously – she’s still a ghastly, shrieking, two-dimensional nitwit who you’d probably start wishing illness on within about three or four seconds of meeting her – but she’s not dead. As we think we’ve already mentioned.
What a horrible weekend. No, not because of the Chilean earthquake and subsequent petrifying tsunami alerts across the globe – because Snooki from Jersey Shore went to a party where she could have ended up with a nasty cut or, worse, bits of glass in her hair.
In case you don’t watch Jersey Shore, here’s a recap – it’s basically The Hills but with worse people. And if you don’t watch The Hills, here’s a recap of that – it’s basically Laguna Beach but with worse people. And if you didn’t watch Laguna Beach, here’s a recap of that – it was basically The Real World but with worse people. Remember how awful the people in The Real World are, and imagine how much worse they’d have to be to be in Laguna Beach, and how much worse than that they’d have to be to be in The Hills, and how much worse than that they’d have to be to be in Jersey Shore.
So from that we can deduce that Jersey Shore is about the worst people in the known universe. And Snooki is the worst one of the Jersey Shore cast. Try and imagine the general level of awfulness of that. You can’t, can you? Anyway, a roof collapsed at a party that Snooki attended on Saturday. That’s what we’re basically getting at. NYmag reports:
At a Purim party held at midtown’s Sony Building that drew over 300 revelers, including Snooki and Chris Noth, the snow and ice caused the glass ceiling of the atrium to fall. The collapse showered glass over the entire crowd, and about ten partygoers were injured, some of whom were taken to the hospital… “I don’t care,” Snooki said. “I’m with my man, it doesn’t matter.”
Chris Noth was there too? Thank heavens that this wasn’t any more serious than it was – imagine if both Snooki from Jersey Shore and Chris Noth from Sex And The City were both killed at the same time. Someone would have had to call an international day of… not mourning, what’s the word for when something happens and it’s a bit sad but it doesn’t really affect your life in any noticeable way? Day of ambivalence? Anyway, that.
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