I use CSI as mental dope. When there’s nothing on and I don’t want to move off the sofa, I can flick channels and somewhere, somewhere there will be CSI and I can watch lots of people killing lots of airtime putting unidentified liquids into test tubes with eye droppers and then putting the test tubes into whirry ice-cream makery type thingies. And looking at loads of speeded up fingerprints until they get a flashing sign saying “POSITIVE MATCH”. And using my best powder brush all over car windscreens.

Really – what’s not to love?

Not the Miami one though – you just want to punch the sunglasses man’s lights out, don’t you?