It’s well known that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie love every single living organism on the face of the earth. Except Jennifer Aniston, obviously, and any living organism that happens to have a camera around their neck.

That’s what a British photographer is claiming, anyway. Sam Relph says that he was threatened by one of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s bodyguards – who was filmed grabbing Relph around the neck – and now he’s thinking about taking legal action against Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Not because of this alleged assault, you realise, but because Sam Relph just thinks that Mr & Mrs Smith was so crap that it should actually become illegal.