We know what you want – you want an old-fashioned platform game like the ones daddy used to make before he got all Call Of Duty 4 on your ass. And that’s what’s Turtix is.

In Turtix you’re a tortoise who’s done a magic spell and… oh, look, it doesn’t matter what Turtix is about. What matters is the giddy grin you’ll have smeared on your fce as you run around collecting crystals and killing things by jumping on their heads. Especially since that judge told you not to do the head-jumping thing in real life.

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