This an appeal on behalf of hecklerspray – if anyone out there is even halfway decent at Turret Pong, and has actually managed to win a game of Turret Pong, please let us know. Because we’re slightly convinced that it’s impossible.

Turret Pong is just like normal Pong, only so ridiculously difficult that it makes us want to cry. Basically, instead of batting a ball backwards and forwards with a paddle, Turret Pong asks you to shoot a ball across your enemy’s goal-line with a gun. That constantly swings from side to side of the screen so you can never quite line your shots up properly. We played Turret Pong on the ‘easy’ setting and lost 5-0. Then, with age and experience behind us, we played Turret Pong again. And lost 7-0. If you manage to beat the computer at Turret Pong, we’ll worship you like gods.

Play Turret Pong now