SLACKERJACK – Sycomaze

Mazes – let’s get one thing straight – are rubbish. Who in their right mind wants to spend an afternoon trudging around tiny little aisles between dirty great hedges? Not bloody us, that’s for sure – we’ve seen The Shining, we know what happens to people who go in mazes.

Sycomaze is a little better, we think, although it seems to be making us feel queasier than we did when we had a dodgy prawn sandwich on a cross-channel ferry in a force 12 gale that time. The official explanation for Sycomaze says that you play “a kind of cosmic breakdown van and have to navigate the UFO through various dangerous and rotating worlds,” although a slightly more accurate explanation would be that you play a sort of tiny ball thing and you have to go around a maze – one that rotates around you – picking up stuff until a) you complete the level or b) you’ve chundered every piece of food you’ve eaten in the last nine years down your best shirt like Britney Spears out on a date. Which comes first? You decide.

Play Sycomaze now