SLACKERJACK - Soldier
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October 31st, 2007 at 12:30 by Stuart Heritage
1980s shooting games were so much simpler than now, don't you think? All you needed to take on the might of the world's evil was a one-man army charging around open spaces with a machine gun that fired bullets oddly larger than the gun itself.
And that's what Soldier is - a remake of the 1985 classic Commando, Soldier sees you pelting around all sorts of global war zones taking out baddie after baddie without a single thought for their families. You know why? Because emotions are for pussies! In Soldier, guns are your emotions, and the only tears you'll try will be tears of lead out of your gun-duct.
October 31st, 2007 at 8:29 pm
Gun duct sounds kinda sexual.