More than any other game we've featured as a Slackerjack, Pizza Passion makes us ashamed to be male for so many different reasons.

The premise of Pizza Passion is that you're a lonely pizza chef who dreams he can get a girlfriend by making a pizza and, weirdly, the higher up a chimney the Pizza Passion chef can throw, the more love he'll get from the girl. That's one part of why Pizza Passion makes us ashamed to be male – for perpetuating the myth that girls will love you if you buy them a pizza. But here's our real shameful secret – the Pizza Passion cut-scenes. Do OK at Pizza Passion and you'll see a scene of a girl stroking the chef's face. Do better and she'll hold him to her bosom as he fondles her bum. OK, we'll admit it – we played Pizza Passion for ages in the hope we'd see a cartoon nipple.

We hate us too.

Play Pizza Passion now