Medieval times were so much simpler. Instead of quibbling with a PC World sales supervisor about getting a refund for a faulty wi-fi re-router, you could just run him through with a sword and burn his shop down. As we learnt last week, that shit just doesn't fly if you try it these days.

So as a reminder of simpler medieval times, here's Defender Of The Crown. In Defender Of The Crown, you're an up-and-coming Lord in charge of several armies and knights and stuff, and you have to battle a whole group of other knights for control of medieval England and all the illiterate brown-toothed plebs that live in it. But where Defender Of The Crown comes into its own is with how you battle for control – Defender Of The Crown features more archery training, jousting battles, pillaging raids, rescue raids and gigantic catapult fights than you can imagine. Defender Of The Crown is literally all the fun of medieval England without all the disease and short life expectancy and stuff.

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