Here at hecklerspray, we're constantly reminded of our status as fifth-class human beings. The way that we can't open doors properly, the way that we once accidentally rubbed butter in our hair, and the way that we completely suck balls at Dancing Onigirl.

Dancing Onigirl is a computer keyboard version of Dance Dance Revolution, but without all the fun. We have a deep fondness for Dance Dance Revolution and – at the cost of countless girlfriends – we regularly take the opportunity to unleash our inner Japanese teenage girl on the dance pad. But Dancing Onigirl is something else entirely.

In Dancing Onigirl, arrows shriek up the screen at an astonishing speed, and it's up to your fingers to hit your keyboard arrows at the right time. We're pathetic at Dancing Onigirl, and we only hope that you are too.

Play Dancing Onigirl now