If hecklerspray had a castle it'd be a good one like the Snake Mountain castle toy from He-Man with a spooky voice-change thing that you can bellow into, and not a bad one like the one where Phil Spector's friend got shot in the face.

Our point is that neither of these options are explored very much in Castle Wars, today's Slackerjack. Castle Wars is a sort of card game, where you have to simultaneously build up your castle while making sure that your opponent's castle stays small. You can do this with knights, magic crystals, bricks and goodness knows what else – we think. To be honest, we played Castle Wars about five times and we still weren't really sure what we were supposed to do. But we still ended up winning. Hah – we are best at games even when we don't understand them!

Play Castle Wars now