If you go to an arcade anywhere in the world, you’ll be presented with a gleaming hall full of state-of-the-art coin-operated videogames. Maybe there’ll be some virtual reality, maybe a flight simulator that spins you 360 degrees as you pursue an enemy fighter.

Well, not anywhere in the world. Go to an arcade in England, and you’ll be presented with a grubby, smoke-filled dungeon with a couple of 5p slot machines and a Time Crisis machine with both guns broken off. And instead of cool Japanese kids doing thousand mph dances in front of an adoring crowd, arcades here are populated by obese mothers screaming at their black-toothed chain-smoking toddlers to try and pickpocket the punters better.

And then there’s air hockey. The oasis of calm in a filthy, bleeping room. Air hockey is great. And it’s today’s Slackerjack.

Play Air Hockey now.