Omg! Lolz!!1!!1! If you’re a 12-year-old with a deluded view on what teenage life is like, that will probably be your reaction.
However if, like us, you live in the real world, you’ll no doubt be banging your head against the nearest blunt object.
Skins can only be described as the Daily Mail’s worst nightmare, since the show takes us into the supposed world of a teenager’s life. It wouldn’t make for good viewing if the characters all had study groups, helped the elderly and grew their own organic vegetables. Instead, it’s filled with boozing, shagging, crying and drug taking. Usually confined to E4, it might now bother you on the big screen.
Forget your popcorn and cola when the film eventually dumps itself in the cinema, you’ll be talking poppers and cocaine instead! Cinema workers’ lives will be made ten times harder as they deal with kids snorting drugs off sticky carpets and then tripping out and licking strangers’ eyeballs.
On TV, Skins has been successful and has recently finished its third outing. It could have been a potential tits-up in the making as producers decided to sack the original cast that established the show. Why, we’re not overly sure but it did seem a bit obvious seeing that the characters were all buggering off to university or taking up a life of prostitution.
With series three, we were introduced to a cast of characters who were just as diverse and strange as the ones they followed. We saw lesbianism, virginity-stealing, house parties spiralling out of control, shagging, girly violence, more shagging and plenty of pills being swallowed. Or MDMA put in to cakemix.
How a one-off Skins film will work is unclear at this point. Usually, all of the plotlines are all interlinked but share the same love for snorting something or getting a shandy at the pub. Perhaps for 90 minutes the two casts will be reunited and they’ll sit in a field getting wasted.
Of course, due to everyone being pretty spaced out, the characters may start to have their minds opened up. They question the theories written by Stephen Hawking, rewrite Einstein’s law of relativity and start to draw up blueprints on how to build a flying car. But of course, we don’t know that. Actually, we know bugger all about anything related to a Skins film. All we have is The Guradian’s quote sparking fear into us that the thing might actually happen:
“The broadcaster said that Film4 and Company Pictures, the independent producer that makes the show, were in “preliminary talks” about a big screen spin-off.”
Who knows, they could make it really weird by getting Dev Patel in it. Because he’s a technical Oscar winner now, he could arrive back in Bristol where Skins is set and start harping on about being all successful.
Or probably not.