Simon Cowell’s Manmams Offend Idol Contestant, Millions of Viewers
Simon Cowell is famous for gratuitously insulting the contestants on his TV show, American Idol. That and having a big pair of broobs.
Well look out Simon, because there’s a new insulter in Idoltown. And you’re the target of his laughably pisspoor schoolyard badmouthing.
Having built his television career and bank account on a talent for creatively insulting social misfits and the mentally off-kilter (also, the Welsh), Simon Cowell has had it pretty much his own way. Intimidated by his lowering glare, these poor simpletons could do little but stand mute, caught like rabbits in the searchlight intensity of the man’s teeth. Until this week, when finally one of these saps grew a pair and began flinging insult filth back at Cowell. Only problem: the flinger seemed to have the insult mind age of a four-year-old.
Long ago, TV talent show judges were pretty convivial types, who offered comforting words of advice to their contestants no matter how obvious it was that the poor saps were bordering on psychotic. Then Simon Cowell came along.
Fresh of face and pert of bosom, he immediately carved his niche out with cutting words of abuse for the schmucks parading before him. Pretty soon, every TV talent show had to have itself a judge whose job was to sit there looking bored and angry, occasionally demolishing one of the less stable looking contestants by dropping one of the insult bombs listed in his script.
And so the equilibrium was maintained: rude judge versus cowed contestants. Until last night, that is, when American Idol was rocked as Dennis Brigham fired right back at Simon. After singing a bad song badly, during which he mugged and gooned like a dyspeptic pug, Dennis was told he was on his way back to Ohio. He was not pleased. Take it away, Dennis:
“It’s y’all’s decision, but y’all suck as judges. You need to get some wardrobe. For somebody to be so rich your pants are very, very cheap, with that cheap, very lame shirt you’ve got on.”
Apparently, Fox cut out the next few seconds, when Dennis grabbed Simon’s bag from under the desk, threw it into the bin and began chanting “Binny! Binny! Stig of the Dump!” as Cowell retrieved it.
