Hey! It's almost May! And that means – despite the fact that it's colder than a penguin's bumbum outside – that it's movie summer season! Almost, anyway: the studios are still dumping their lameo springtime duds.
That has to be the reason that Silent Hill, a rubbish movie made from a rubbish computer game starring bad actors that critics were banned from watching, has topped the US weekend box office. Or maybe we're wrong. Maybe Silent Hill isn't the number one film at the US weekend box office because of a lack of decent competition. Maybe Silent Hill is the number one film at the US weekend box office because films featuring rubbish villains with crap names like Pyramid Head are cool and not shit like we thought.
Silent Hill – the number one movie in the US weekend box office – has joined the pantheon of videogame movies. Silent Hill now stands proudly alongside Doom, Resident Evil, that crappy Mario thing, Street Fighter and the Mortal Kombat films. Heady company indeed. Hopefully the US weekend box office success of Silent Hill means that it stands a chance of getting a nod in the new Oscar Category of Best Horror Film Starring Sean Bean As The Concerned Father Of A Missing/Dead Child. Here's the US weekend box office top five…
1 – Silent Hill (What's this? Sean Bean starring in a horror film as the father of a dead/missing child? What a wholly original idea and not exactly the same as The Dark at all) $20,200,000
2 – Scary Movie 4 (If Sean Bean continues this weird obsession with playing the Dad in every sing horror film about a dead/missing child, then the makers of Scary Movie 5 had better start looking for an actor that looks like Mr Punch to play all of his parts) $17,034,000
3 – The Sentinel (An all-star thriller featuring Jack Bauer Off 24, the stupid one from Desperate Housewives, 1980s actress Kim Basinger and Michael Douglas who, to prove that he was misquoted about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, directly pleads into the camera for forgiveness for a full 20 minutes at one point) $14,650,000
4 – Ice Age: The Meltdown (You know that you've been hearing people screaming about acorns when you've been walking past cinemas lately? It's because of this film) $12,800,000
5 – The Wild (Kiefer Sutherland's second film in the US weekend box office top five this week. But even though he's done this by playing roles as diverse as a cartoon animal and a young hard-nosed FBI agent, we'll all still only refer to him as Jack Bauer Off 24) $8,050,000
Read more:
Weekend Box Office – Box Office Mojo
[story by Stuart Heritage]
Danny says
A) The original Silent Hill came out in 1999, when was the dark released?
B) Silent Hill 1 (the game) was a classic, and among the best games ever released on the playstation
C) “Pyramid Head” is only called that because he was never named in Slient Hill 2, where he first appeared, and the name came about (obviously) because of his helmet.
D) Have you seen the film or played the (original) game. I doubt either if you think that the games crap, and the actors are crap.
E) You seem to be prejudiced against video game movies, and ill admit until this month there hasnt been a single one worth watching (whoever made that street fighter movie should be shot), but now thanks to Silent Hill and FF7: Advent Children, there are finally some decent game based movies around.
Yeah it may not be the greatest movie ever made, and it mangled the games story and characters badly, but its still a good film. And yes, Pyramid Heads and Zombie Nurses are cool. If only theyd put in the split dogs and harpies…