One of the most hotly-anticipated movies of the next few years was set to be The Best Time Of Our Lives, in which Keira Knightley would do a bunch of lesbian sex on Lindsay Lohan to the joy of teenage boys and dirty old men everywhere.
But things quickly fell apart, and the Keira Knightley/ Lindsay Lohan lesbian sex flick quickly became the Keira Knightley/ Nobody Else lesbian sex flick after Lindsay Lohan dropped out, possibly because of a lack of winking magical cars in the script. But now balance has been restored thanks to Sienna Miller apparently signing up to do some lesbian sex on Keira Knightley in the movie. What can we learn about the role from the news that it was offered to both Lindsay Lohan and Sienna Miller? Probably that the character involved is a bit of an annoying self-obsessed wanker, we'd guess.
Only the fabled Beyonce/ Eva Longoria lesbian sex flick has ruffled more feathers than the Keira Knightley/ Lindsay Lohan lesbian sex flick that was announced last October. OK, so technically it wasn't entirely a lesbian sex flick – it was a Dylan Thomas biopic written by Keira Knightley's mother that may have had a little bit of lesbian sex in it – but that didn't matter because, well, basically: Keira Knightley and Lindsay Lohan? Doing it like a couple of bloody lesbians? Phwooooooaaar!
Sadly though, Lindsay Lohan pulled out of the movie just as she was denying that she has any addictions because she went to rehab – possibly due to some kind of failed contractual negotiation – which left the future of The Best Time Of Our Lives up in the air.
But swooping in to save the day has come mild Tourettes sufferer Sienna Miller, who has apparently signed up to take the place of Lindsay Lohan, save the movie and just generally lie back and think of England. Or Jude Law. Or Daniel Craig. Or Leonardo DiCaprio. Or Diddy. Or that bloke from Factory Girl. E! Online reports:
Sienna Miller has replaced Lindsay Lohan in the upcoming film The Best Time of Our Lives, after Lohan pulled out of the project last week, reportedly due to issues with her contract. The film centers on Welsh poet Dylan Thomas (Matthew Rhys) and his wife, Caitlin MacNamara (Miller), and the events that led up to a bizarre 1945 incident in which Thomas' childhood friend Vera Phillips (Keira Knightley) and her eventual husband, William Killick (Cillian Murphy), opened fire on the Thomas home with a machine gun and a hand grenade.
And then have a load of lesbian sex. In close up. In a rainstorm. In a paddling pool full of jelly. Phwooooooaaar! But – and we're really sorry to be the ones to have to break this to you – if Sienna Miller is going to star in The Best Time Of Our Lives, then that movie is sure to turn out to be very disappointing indeed, for the simple fact that Sienna Miller is in it.
But if, like us, you're a little bit upset that you won't be getting to see Keira Knightley and Lindsay Lohan having a bunch of lesbian sex together, we advise that you just do what we'll do – rip out a page from that magazine where Keira Knightley and Scarlett Johansson are naked and then rub the page up and down on a TV screen that's showing the Lindsay Lohan stripper movie while making soft moaning noises to yourself and occasionally licking your lips.
Sorry, we actually managed to creep ourselves out with that last bit. Won't happen again.
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Chris says
I, for one, am very happy about this
King Jimbo says
This is a film I will have to see.
david says
i can’t decide which one’s skinnier…probably keira…but mabe sienna
david says
or perhaps both the same
david says
…but perhaps…