Usually the most interesting thing to happen at the Glastonbury Festival is when someone decides to throw a litre bottle of warm piss at Captain Pie from the Manic Street Preachers, but Shirley Bassey changed all that this year.
Not content with taking the traditional Sunday afternoon 'old person that people only like ironically at best' Glastonbury slot which, as expected, consisted of a few James Bond theme-tunes shouted at some damp sixth-formers on their first trip away from home, Shirley Bassey attempted something truly spectacular after her set – when the helicopter flying Shirley Bassey back to Surrey developed a mechanical fault, hit some bad weather, came within inches of smashing into pylons and wires and had to make an emergency landing in a school field. It's thought this is the most thrilling Glastonbury-related incident since Bez from The Happy Mondays walked into the side of a cow in 1990.
Shirley Bassey is like an older version of Charlotte Church, although one who doesn't swear at Scooch or have a rubbish TV show or a boyfriend who looks like he was carved out of pumpkins. Instead Shirley Bassey has made her career by powering out a succession dramatic show-stopping songs in the style of a woman on top of a hill shouting at God in a thunderstorm and, most recently, almost dying in a helicopter crash that didn't quite happen on her way back from Glastonbury on Sunday.
The Glastonbury Festival is still the go-to place to see hundreds of thousands of rich boys called Tarquin ingest stupidly large quantities of those ropey 'legal high' pills that are clearly made of a Calgon/cowpat mixture and then throw up in a puddle. Glastonbury is also the best place to see Jo Wiley plodding around barefoot describing The Fratellis as "amaaaaay-zing" like she's daring you not to slap her in her big smug face. So really Shirley Bassey should be thanked for livening Glastonbury up by flying home in a helicopter that nearly blasted into power cables and fell to the ground as a smouldering blackened shell. Stuff reports:
The 70-year-old singer's chopper developed a mechanical fault on the way from the Glastonbury Festival to London and came within inches of hitting pylons and wires before making an emergency landing. The helicopter eventually touched down at 8pm in the grounds of Collingwood College in Camberley, Surrey, after horrified onlookers watched it sway over residential houses in dense fog and torrential rain.
After the helicopter touched down, Shirley Bassey apparently apologised to the 'horrified onlookers' and asked if she could go to the toilet. And depending on how you look at things, Shirley Bassey's reaction was either a faultless piece of classy old-school style or a bit of a let-down after reading a headline like Shirley Bassey Almost Killed In Fiery Ball Of Helicopter Death. You can make up your own minds about that one.
Read more:
D.J. says
Almost? Almost isn’t good enough!
hannah says
I BLOODY LOVE YOU STUART
TFC1 says
What remarkable fortitude this woman has. If it had been me – I’d have passed the point of needing to use anyone’s toilet.