It's a good job that Shia LaBeouf has a face so adorable that it looks as if it's been pieced together with moonbeams and kitten-fluff.
That's because Shia LaBeouf is just about the crummiest law-breaker that the world has ever seen. After his recent arrest for standing a pharmacy for too long, Shia LaBeouf has now got in trouble for smoking cigarettes as well.
Worse still, Shia LaBeouf now has an arrest warrant on his head after skipping his smoking-based court appearance, something which stands to jeopardise his next fiendishly evil ruse – scrumping apples from Old Man McGee's orchard to bake and sell a selection of delicious yet unlawful pies from his mother's drive.
Don't be fooled by Shia LaBeouf's puppyish face or innocent sparkly eyes, because at heart he's nothing more than an evil mastermind who'll stop at nothing to smash the system. You can see it in the way that Shia LaBeouf blabbed the title of the new Indiana Jones movie even though Steven Spielberg had apparently asked him not to, or the way that he decided to star in Transformers even though he must have known it would be worse than terrible.
But Shia LaBeouf's troublemaking streak doesn't just extend to ropey-looking blockbuster movies – Shia LaBeouf is also intent on breaking the law as often as possible in the most shocking of ways. Like, for instance, in November when Shia LaBeouf bought the justice system to its knees by standing around in a Walgreens and not leaving when a security guard asked him to. You have to admit that's badass.
Thanks to Walgreens dropping the charges, though, Shia LaBeouf didn't achieve his life-long ambition of going to prison, which is why he planned his next atrocity – smoking on a pavement. Wait, it gets worse – smoking on a pavement and then not showing up to court. E! Online reports:
Thanks to his nicotine habit, the rising star is wanted by the cops after skipping a court hearing to answer a ticket for unlawful smoking. A warrant was issued Tuesday for the arrest of the Transformers star after neither he nor his attorney turned up in a Burbank, Calif., courtroom, a court clerk confirmed. According to TMZ, the 21-year-old thesp was busted for puffing illegally on the sidewalk outside a gift store called Skyblupink. Arraignment was scheduled for 8 a.m. for the misdemeanor offense. The judge issued a $1,000 bench warrant once he determined LaBeouf was missing in action.
Shia LaBeouf has really done himself in by skipping the court appearance. Had he shown up, he'd have probably been let off with a minor monetary fine, but now he faces the harshest punishment that an unlawful smoking bust can offer. That's right – the sheriff's going to sit him down and make him smoke 20 packets of cigarettes one after the other right in front of him. Menthol ones, too – these people don't mess around.
Of course, there's a chance that Shia LaBeouf will avoid jail again for this awful crime – in which case the world will just have to tremble in anticipation of his next fearsome outburst. And it has every reason to – we hear from our sources that it'll either involve spitwads or kissing girls behind the woodwork block.
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